Thanksgiving is my favorite Holiday. Not this year, though. Sometimes I just feel so damn helpless, and quite frankly that just pisses me off. Once again, wish you were here to lecture some sense into me. I hope your Thanksgiving was nice, though.

- M

Still FREAKING out about the conference, but something just occurred that made me grin that really stupid grin girls sometimes grin when they’re being extra ridiculous ( Read more... )

This time, writing you sort of feels obligatory. Like I’m shuffling off to attend an overdue chore with my head bowed and my cheeks all flushed. But you should know these things. I feel like you should know these things ( Read more... )

This morning I wrote you a letter in my head, which is fairly unusual. Generally I suppress until I somehow wind up stuck staring at a blank page and I can’t stop my heart from tumbling out in a sloppy, jumbled, inky mess. It doesn’t matter, though; as soon as I finished the letter, my mind blanked. Cleansed, I guess. Leaving me all sterilized and ( Read more... )

 
Remember how brilliant you were? You still are, I’m sure. People said I was good, but I was merely adequate for my age range and they didn’t know you. Back then, I was so impressed, so proud. Like I had any right to be proud of how talented you were. I was a little jealous, too, even though you never pointed out the disparity. After everything ( Read more... )

There's even less of a point to this letter than there is in all the other letters. I guess I just want to reach out to you. Never mind all that distance, never mind there's no actual chance of me brushing up against some nonexistent corner in your sphere of attention. Never mind that you don't want to be brushed ( Read more... )

I’m sitting here, staring at my computer, trying to muster up the motivation to work on this project that was technically due like… five days ago. Fucking a. I have shit to do. I hate disappointing people.

Dr. W got the first wave of this project on the presentation list for the latest Social Psych conference, how wicked awesome is that? She ( Read more... )

Working on it.

Miss you.

A&F,

M

---

You know what? No. Fuck you, Maddie. You said forever and damn it, I believed you. I fucking believed you. I was in. How could you be that and then just... not be it? I still have all your love letters, you know. Because I suck. Because I can't just - ugh.

Did you know I'm on track to be a licensed clinical therapist ( Read more... )

Damn it. I thought I was doing so well. I thought I was so clever, trying this regression thing. I thought I was almost ready.

Mistaken, per usual. Sigh.

I'll try again tomorrow. Maybe I should look into this letters thing again? Actually follow through? I'll consider it.

Love you (damn it),

M