I wish I could explain this better. I’m sure you could explain it, you were always so awfully good with words ( Read more... )

I am happy ( Read more... )

Last night, in a dream, I wrote you a letter. I don’t remember what was in the letter - I don’t think it was important. The dream was mostly about all the awful things that happened because of it. I kept waking up, trying to get out of it, but every time I fell asleep I fell right back into it. You wrote me back, but I left your letter unread. ( Read more... )

Sometimes I hate the way it feels to care about someone like this. That awful, creeping suspicion, skepticism, doubt. I just want to trust her. I don’t know how.

This ache is familiar, it resonates, and that’s sort of terrifying. Some things you just don’t ever get over. Can I handle another one of those things, if that’s what it comes to? Did I ( Read more... )

Actually ripping off a band-aide is never as bad as the moment right before, bracing. I feel like I’m about to get a shot. I HATE needles. But what can you do, right? You just tense up and try not to whimper and hate yourself for crying while you wait for it to happen. Because it would be silly to run away. Because you’re not supposed to. Because ( Read more... )

Sometimes I just write your name and wait. Sometimes it feels like I’m going to sink into the silence beneath this awful weight of not knowing what to say ( Read more... )

I love you. Always. Forever.

- M

So I guess I sort of isolate and ignore the people who care about me. After I’ve insisted that they prove that they care, of course. But just as soon as I’m sure that they do, I’m done with them ( Read more... )

It’s like that moment when you slip. When you’ve just shifted your weight and your foot is suddenly flying out from beneath you and the realization that you’re going to fall is flooding your system - every thought, every emotion, every fiber of your being is overtaken by that realization. And it doesn’t matter if you catch yourself, it doesn’t ( Read more... )

I remember what it felt like to fall in love with you. I remember that moment when suddenly I was still against the chaos of a selfish adolescent psyche, when everything fell away and there you were, just for a moment, brilliant and beautiful. I loved you and that mattered more than anything else about you or me or us. I loved you and everything ( Read more... )