i've been neglecting this poor little journal lately... how sad, i think it may be time to retire it, however, four fucking years on this thing and i find it so hard to. chaotic shit has been going down for all the wrong reasons lately. i've been at mike's for about a week now, my poor mother has not heard from me and i feel so bad. tensions have ( Read more... )

well... it's been quite a while yet again. i have no access to a computer, as usual. so much shit has gone on in so little time, just as it always does, as well as so little goes on in so long as well... but no, this was an exciting week. for starters mommy dearest caught me under mike's bed.... fucking bitch!!!!! it seems as though she is making ( Read more... )

I MISS MYSELF!!! i miss the fag hag, the bitchy little know it all, the opinionated liberal renagade, the outgoing eccentric preson i used to be. what am i now?? a consearvative fucking wanna-be housewife?!!? nu uh, nope, not me. i'm not falling that easily in to the cliche existance of the people of suburbia. i'm not wating on my husband hand and ( Read more... )

wow, it's been too fucking long since i last wrote in here. i got grounded from my fucking computer for no fucking reason, and i'm 18.. wow, am i a loser, a poster child for "just say 'no'", even now i can see the reprecussions of my lifestyle, but still have not yet come to realize that "it isn't worth it" as some may say... maybe it's just ( Read more... )

alright, so more on the hospital. i got real mad at my dad because he was being so angry and unreasonable, so i matched his anger, with more anger to see how he liked it. he wanted to call the cops on me. he didn't i changed that. i just wanted to go to my room to be alone, but he wouldn't let me for some strange reason, i broke a mirror that night ( Read more... )

Well, i just spent the last four days in Centennial Peaks... AGAIN enough said...

this weekend was so strange. i got back together with stephanie and it's as if everything is just as it was. i've entered some sort of a time warp. but shit, everything's so strange. i went a little crazy for a little while. don't know what happened, probably lack of sleep, alcohol, and the new-ness to weed that's setting in. chrsitams was lonely, ( Read more... )

oh my fucking god, i might have a semi-job, for forty dollars an hour teaching a sixth grade violin student a westview priviate lessons!!! i just had to share that!! i think i'd be such a good fuckin' teacher, i know just how to teach kids without making them intimidated or shy.... i think i'll play everything with him first, and then slowly let ( Read more... )

God i'm so stupid stupid stupid.... i got mad at mike today because he did the right thing really... i wanted sex, and he did not, and i got angry, refused to finish giving him head, and so he did what he knew would get me madder and came all over me... god i hate that, i see it as a waste. but shit. i really need to calm down over this whole sex ( Read more... )

why, oh why, do i feel so high. sittin on my ass in this dark little room. haven't touched drugs in quite a while. stomach might come up, and spill some bile. shit, this shit is so fucked up, it's almost cristmas and i haven't even gone shopping yet. don't even know what i would get. over and over my mind dose drift, with no grisley death or ( Read more... )