[There is a strange priest wandering around the premises. For anyone who's actually seen the Major before, this priest looks awfully familiar, for anyone who hasn't... well, he's here to preform the services of marriage and absolution, legitimizing children, and possibly funeral rights -- for a fee ( Read more... )

[The Major is not smiling for once... he stands in his room, looking lost and confused.]

Where am I?

Who am I?

How did I....

I think I've been dreaming... where are these horrible images coming from... in my head.

[And the amnesiac looks like he's about to cry from the confusion.]

[The Major was sitting on his bed, looking smug as ever. Elaine was there, since taking the job as his prisoner, she had to feed him. Red is the Major, blue is Elaine.]

Elaine, since you're keeping me here, I can't examine the monsters. Why don't you go film them for me, since you won't fix the damage you did to my hands.

[A menu popped up, reading " ( Read more... )

There is an alien autopsy book with your name on the diagrams.

I have that present I was talking about, would you like to meet me in the tearoom?

(The pudgy evil bastard is busy reading the torrent of entirely justified hatemail. Since he's done so much that entirely justifies hate, his room is pretty much stacked and overflowing in letters. Now, a person who had the slightest thing that was even mildly analogous to a conscience would feel bad about what was written in the letters... The ( Read more... )

(So, the Major has made a plate of brownies... and these do absolutely nothing. They're just sitting there. However, various eating surfaces and dishes in the kitchen, have been contaminated. Major thought Yzma's potions were cool, so he's tried to recreate the effect using books from the library, it's his frst attempt, so touching contaminated ( Read more... )

(A surprisingly feminine voice is singing on the network... And yes, it's audio so you can't find him.)

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
( Cut for length )

( Already adult content blocked, but this is a second warning. This post contains the Major being a creepy evil bastard, proceed with caution! )

(So, the Major is annoyed again, and appears to be under quarantine. So, he does what any psychotic death doctor would do. Yes, he is attempting to release an infectious disease in the mansion ( Read more... )