I have, from Sam's Club, a 2-fucking-liter bottle of pump-action Purell hand sanitizer. I plan to single-handedly create a strain of antiseptic-resistant bacteria which will soon become the dominant form of life on this planet. God, I love PurellI don't plan to update this journal anymore. I created a new one, mostly because it's my prerogative and ( Read more... )

I very often will be minding my own business when some random, vague song from the 80s or early 90s comes into my head and I have no choice but to bust it out.

While sweeping the back room two nights ago at work, I was overcome with Ini Kamoze's "Here Comes the Hotstepper" ohfortheloveofgod.

"Here comes the hotstepper, murderer ( Read more... )

Oh, the amusements and horrors one can find at hotornot.com....

http://meetme.hotornot.com/r/?emid=NYRZEYE

SMOKING MY FACE OFF.

....

There's nothing more special than Sloth from The Goonies in vinyl bikini briefs.

Actually, I can't decide whether he looks more like Sloth from The Goonies or Vigo from Ghostbusters 2Either way, I'm sure I'm ( Read more... )

On my way to work, I hit a bump in the road and apparently dislodged my muffler from... whatever a muffler is lodged to. There was suddenly a banging noise and then the motor was really loud. I ignored it and went to work as planned ( Read more... )

I'm off tomorrow to drop off a resume for a job at the US Customs Agency. Because having two jobs just isn't enough. :P ( Read more... )

It's coming to my attention more and more with each passing day that I'm actually kind of, well... dumb.

Some people think it weird, but I don't like to listen to music out loud. Even when I was living in a three-bedroom house by myself, I almost always listened to my music through headphones ( Read more... )

I love it when I'm having a really wonderful, passionate, about-to-be sex dream and just when things are about to get really hot: my cat jumps on my face.

I LOVE YOU KITTY.

... you fucking bastard.

Heh, three of my coworkers at GAP and I are going to be a team in a bowling league.

Team GAP. We will suck ass, but you know... do it up trendy at the alley.

I don't think we're being very serious about it... just an excuse for us to hang out, have a couple beers, and bowl for shits and giggles. How can we be serious about it? Who, in a bowling ( Read more... )

Maybe it's just part of getting older or maybe it's just part of being busier and more stressed-out than to which I'm accustomed, but I've become something I never could've pictured myself as a year ago: I've become a napper ( Read more... )