Dormant memories resurfacing. I remember once, when I was very young, lying in a darkened bedroom exchanging furtive whispers with my brother (on the bed adjacent to mine.) These clandestine despatches were intercepted by my late mother, who issued the somewhat ambiguous command to "Turn into that wall!"

But you know - in many ways, I did.

I have a curious tendency, when shopping for sundry products (toothpaste, deodorant and suchlike), to select the costliest such items on display, that I might more plausibly tender in payment a €20 note (typically the smallest denomination about my person, due to the intrasigent nature of cash machines ( Read more... )

Might apply for this. Although I reckon it gets under your skin eventually.

(Hand skills???)

80s synthpop icon Marc Almond exposed as palingenetic descendant of King TutankhamunThe plague has descended upon my household again, I've passed the bulk of this week in a painkiller-induced stupor. Travelled the entire length of the city at ludicrous expense last Friday to see us play the worst team in the world (Athlone Town.) And we only won 1- ( Read more... )

It would, I suspect, be quite impossible for the casual visitor to cast even the most perfunctory of glances upon the contents of this journal without reaching the conclusion that yours truly was not, perhaps, the most sagacious specimen ever deposited on this earth. Indeed, if some future student of humanity should resolve to plot his or her ( Read more... )

Hopes that long-overdue Situationist coup had finally occurred briefly engendered (through slowly-dispersing fog of sleep) this morning as the radio-borne voice of some anonymous official announced that 750 people had been arrested "for public order" over the bank holiday weekend. Sadly, he did not then proceed to detail the number of detentions ( Read more... )

I got black shoe polish on the cuff of my favourite white shirt.

Perhaps the most fatal tactical error one may commit in any form of debate or disputation is to assume that one's opponent is as narrowminded, poorly-informed, maliciously intentioned, tendentiously inclined or just plain stupid as oneself.

Surely the most eloquent symbol of desperation in existence. Already I see them infesting the gardens of the local bourgeoisie. I find the very sight of these false harbingers of imminent springtime disproportionately irritating, offensive even. To plant daffodils is to participate in a reified suspension of disbelief ( Read more... )

I found those words scrawled in an old notebook I recently unearthed. Presumably, it was something I once meant to write about. The original context has receded irretrievably into the void, but the concept at its core is one that continues to amuse me. How can one fail to be amused by the very notion of Armageddon visited upon humanity by the ( Read more... )