my whole life i have been such a supposed, "fuck-up". i have tried so hard to win the affection and love in congruence with that which my mother showed to my two older brothers and younger sister. i could never compare. i still can't. my mother sent me an e.mail stating that her love for me and her 3 other children is equal. following her in ( Read more... )

written 10.22.02 ( Read more... )

to continue, i am sorry to reveal that the true reason i journal is because i always have. just not on a keyboard, not a computer, not anything before but lead. but ink. but sheets of bindings, of many of atleast 30 books written before me ( Read more... )

hey my journal or kernal or chief in crime of all that one discerns all to.... hee hee ( Read more... )

so i just wrote not one but TWO fucking livejournal updates that got erased by the computer kicking me off. they were both longer than my last post, too!! the best shit ever. i've been away from a computer for almost a week and have written a lot of gnarly nasty fiercely fabulous shit in my (hand-written) journal. i should just scan it all (to ( Read more... )

i'm such a freak sometimes. over the weekend i have had a series of events take place that, well... uh. yup...these events to now...... are in the very least, of what most could object to as "eventful". starting with Almost Straight Again Family Values Tour, (wed, to end on sat; with at minimum of 150 phone calls, in addition to: text and/or e. ( Read more... )

I went shopping today with sis and niece and nephew. Had so much fun. So fucking hot here. Have 2 psychos on my tail here...one guy, one girl. And all the guys downtown today. What? Never seen this much skin on a girl (that should be showing it!) before? Just polished off a 40. Wondering when I am going to get the Hell out of this country. Hoping I ( Read more... )