some days are really hard. i can't believe my mom is gone now, it makes this house feel different. i can't believe how much has happened in the matter of months & that she basically left joe and i to pack up the house i've lived in my whole entire life to go live in some crappy bachelor's pad. i can't believe i haven't talked to him for weeks. i ( Read more... )

everyone is saying i just need to be happy for her. that she deserves to move on, to be in love. but should i really be happy after hearing the conversation they just had? how can i give him respect when he shows me none. i sat at his computer and filled out six applications last night & delivered them all on my way out of spokane today. i don't ( Read more... )

today i bought a ton of piano music. stevie wonder, alicia keys, edwin mccain & then a book of 06-07 hits. i am so excited to get back into music! i have already spent five hours today. tomorrow i plan on much more. my uncle scott came to town this weekend. i wish i had more time with him. i love him so much. we saw batman (again) & ate like kings ( Read more... )

yesterday i climbed a really big rock in order to get to this cool, private corner of lake cle elum. angela & i floated for hours while the boys swam and talked motorcycles :) i loved it & want to go back so bad, i want to take someone there who's never been and be like yeah, this is my spot bitches ( Read more... )

i don't think anyone reads this anymore, so this is basically for me to keep track of where i'm at ( Read more... )

i hate not knowing, maybe more than anything? but when i find out i think FUCK. i wish i didn't know that.

4 months and i still want out of ellensburg. i want to get rid of this anxious scared shitless feeling. i want to puke. i want to cry. i want to start over, i want to move. tomorrow.

i was reading my old entries and it is quite comical that i was so excited for disney. in all honesty i could have shat in front the interviewer and she would've accepted me. slaaave drivers! but i do miss it. so being back home is quite spectacular. except for slamming my hand into a brick wall today. that sucked. and i am currently failing my ( Read more... )

tonight was a roller coaster of emotions. i'm going to miss everyone so so much that it makes my insides do flips. my mouth tastes like a camel cigarette. it's 4am and i still have to pack basically everything. back in washington by 9pm. holla

so i've been in florida since september 5th and i love it, most of the time. there's always so much to do and when i stay in i feel like i'm being left out. kapeesh? and i want to see elizabeth, not good luck chuck. so people should stop inviting me to good luck chuck and go see elizabeth with me. the end