I dreampt about directions last night, going places with actual plans and blasting music. I woke up with a song rambling in my head that I have never heard before and no longer remember ( Read more... )

Film workshop. Three weeks long, twelve meetings in all. Today was the first day. Amazing.
I always knew I would love film. Took long enough to do something about it.
Long days make me tired but I also feel good.

I noticed the stars tonight for the first time in too long. I really looked at them and didn’t take them for granted. Everything is going to be ok I keep telling myself and I think I am believing it now. Believing it because it is true not because I am good at convincing myself of things.

life is absurd.

The weekends are just like summer until sunday rolls around ( Read more... )

I know how old ladies sitting on park benches feeding pigeons must feel. Sitting in the mall-ish area on a bench sipping my coffee that I bought and missed my bus as a result of. Then I realized it was ok because the bus drivers usually don’t allow coffee. So now I have an hour to mill but I’ve already walked around twice. Went to Border’s and ( Read more... )

"Honey, you're looking real gorgeous"called out some older scraggly longbearded greying man to me as I walked away from the pierre back down state street. I thought about stopping and sitting down next to him and the other guy he was with to hear him talk because I bet he had interesting things to say. I wanted to have something to shout in ( Read more... )

It finally hit that my mom LIVES in albuquerque as I was packing. Packing? what? Why can't we just hop in the car and drive six hours south and arrive in SB at my house with all my stuff? Oh yeah, I'm not in California. Shit. what? god. life is weird ( Read more... )

Fall has arrived ( Read more... )

Maybe he was right when he told me three years ago: "You think too much."
I feel like Tita in Like Water For Chocolate when she goes silent for a long time because she doesn't want to talk. I want to talk but (like Tita) I don't have the words to.

Where does it go when it's gone?