It's funny when you go back and read old journal entries, or especially old livejournal entries, and you see where your mind was at so many months ago. When I was younger it was always convincing myself I could be strong, and that I would learn to develop focus, without leaning on, or direction from a man in my life; meaning that my decisions ( Read more... )

Here's a new concept. Dating someone outside your own race, and dating someone so black the only thing white on them is their teeth and the whites of their eyes. I've never thought I would have a problem, then I never thought I would ever find myself so attracted to someone who doesn't look a thing like me. My grandparents have told me since I ( Read more... )

Here I am at grad school and I have a variety of options but I'm not really seeing the end product I want. I suck, absolutely suck at giving presentations or sounding credible at anything, and it's not even for just a lack of preparing anymore. I just get so frazzled and jazzed up about what I have to say that my nervousness takes over and I ( Read more... )

I suck at making new friends. What are you suppose to do, ask people to go out for a movie? I'd like to think it's so simple as to ask people over for lunch or whatever, but it's just so weird for me. I've never been good at making friends. I remember when I was younger I use to have these Halloween parties, where I would spend hours preparing ( Read more... )

I am so angry. My roommate sucks and besides the fact that I use to be as irresponsible as her, I just can't be up front with her about what is bothering me without blowing up. What a peace keeper I am.

Life is a social construction. And so I create one for myself ( Read more... )

So I'm pissed. I got stood up for a date. Not even actually. Because of lack of follow through on the boy's part, the date fell apart one day before we planned for it. And we planned for it at least a week in advance ( Read more... )

So I just got back from a counseling appointment here at school. The reason I went? Perpetual lack of motivation and incapability to hold myself accountable for not doing things I say I would. For instance, here I am, paying 20,000 out of my own pocket for this education and I'm not even doing the homework. If I can't find motivation in that, ( Read more... )

This past week I've been in Ireland with the rest of my graduate program and it's really given me some perspective of where I fit on this world and where I want to fit. I've been feeling shotty all week, mostly because I'm terribly sick but also because I'm getting tired of conforming to these kids trying so hard to please. Then I realized I'm ( Read more... )

Something isn't right in the world ( Read more... )