Karl Rove resigned because his good twin brother, Carl Rove, escaped Guantanamo.

Energy drinks last longer when consumed through the rectum.

Elton John can bench 370.

David Blaine's next stunt: make Criss Angel disappear.

Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider no longer wants to rock.

Chuck Norris has compiled a list of everyone who has slandered him on the internet. No one knows what he plans to do with it.

Tommy Chong died today trying to smoke out of a pipe bomb.

The bullet that hit JFK was infact, magic.

Elvis didn't die on the toilet, he died pooping in the sink.

Riverdance was a giant hoax.