Tie dyeing is always a good idea, even while sober.

St. Patrick did no good for the Irish, but rather sat around all day drinking whisky and beating his wife.

This is the best day of our lives.

Even though the NAACP buried the word "nigger" last year, the KKK has dug it up from its grave and brought it back to life. Now it is "zombie nigger."

Ronald Reagan forgot he died.

Rigorous exercise is sweeping the goth subculture under the belief that sweat is your body crying.

When Johnny Depp's contract with the devil expires he will age hundreds of years in a matter of minutes.

The Misfits were relatively well behaved.

Michael Vick fought all those dogs himself.

China makes all the best stuff.