I feel like my life has slowly begun cumbling around me and am deathly afraid that I am losing all sense of reality. For nearly two years I have been infatuated with a good friend. He had know idea that I struggled with homosexuality until six months ago. He was very supportive, and I slowly let him know what that meant. I thought I had made it ( Read more... )

No one reads this, but I thought I would update it anyway. Since I last posted, my entire life has been changed upside down. I began seeking Christian counseling to deal with my sexuality. I don't know where this will all go. What I would want is to be heterosexual and married with kids. Right now I just want to be able to relate to other ( Read more... )

Ok, I know others may find this hokey. But for me, this realizations is a great bit of comfort. And no matter how stupid it may be, I believe it. As i have continued to try and find answers in order to reconcile my faith and sexuality, I have come back to the central principle of Christian spirituality (which happens to be the principle that ( Read more... )

I am not feeling well right now and am not very happy with my friend (the one I "like"). He was in town but I feel like he left me hanging most of the time. I'm not sure if he didn't want me around or if I read too much into it because I have always seen our friendship as something more than he does. Either way it reiterated the feeling that this ( Read more... )

Letter to a progressive Christian author:

I just finished your book, Blue Like Jazz, and loved it. It has been a real inspiration and blessing for my life. It has helped me to truly realize God's love for me and the need for me to love God, others, and myself more. It is because of my respect for you and your book that I ask for your advice and ( Read more... )

If only he knew I loved him. If only he felt the same. If only I could live truthfully and share my pain. In my dreams its perfect. But in reality it's lies, nothing but fake. Why can't you see the truth? It must be so obvious. How can you befriend someone who quietly obsesses for you? Sometimes I feel our friendship is the greatest ( Read more... )

I have sat on this journal for too long so I figured I would enter my first entry. I just saw 'Latter Days' which is about a Mormon missionary who is gay. The movie was not that great but it has reminded me of the two different lives I live. though I guess I only live one life as no one knows I am really a homosexual. I do not know how to reconcile ( Read more... )