today not so good. I'm not even sure what to say. today is my mom's birthday. I wish today were a happy day. I wanted today to be wonderful for my mother. I want it to be fucking good, god dammit. I want to stop crying. my tears keep raining on the parade. I want my mother to have a better life than this. it's terrible. I don't know what to do with ( Read more... )

we went to stratton today. yay! it snowed on and off all day. by 4pm it was like a blizzard. that was neat. the snow was so nice aujourd'hui. super good day. but on the way home my mom kept getting lost and then we all freaked out in the car and I thought I was going to die again and we were screaming and fighting and I got a bad headache. but the ( Read more... )

okay, so it turns out mount snow actually does suck, so I've convinced my mom that we should go to either stratton or killington for the rest of our time here. mount snow is pathetic and should be airlifted to pennsylvania. the people in the shop were really nice though ( Read more... )

study abroad = study nightmare ( Read more... )

just in case I die or something, for the record ( Read more... )

I took two showers today, got a haircut, and bought the new nelly furtado cd. Although I was stressed out before going to the mall, I feel okay now. I got some pictures redeveloped and others enlarged. they look amazing. tomorrow we leave for vermont. mount snow is supposed to get freezing rain. killington is getting a week of snow. we'll probably ( Read more... )

while I was watching guy watch this dateline program about a man who spent six years in jail for a crime he didn't commit, I started crying and then I realized the rhode island state prison they show resembles healy to an uncanny degree. the windows are almost identical. I didn't get the best look of course, but...it would make sense. haha see I ( Read more... )

I explained to my mom in the clearest and most thorough ways why I am unhappy here. it wasn't much of a fight because it was mostly just me speaking. I began expressing myself rather loudly, and I've lost my voice. I don't know what to do from here. I told her she was missing the point. I was asking for help. things are well beyond the point where ( Read more... )

listening to my mom and guy really makes me want to die. I'm not kidding. to stop living. it's worse than anything you can possibly imagine. thank god this is not my life.

I know this isn't healthy. the thought of attempting to speak to my mother makes me short of breath and my heart begins to beat faster than it should. I'm so annoyed that she'll take whatever I say as some sort of attack, get cranky and start bitching it almost makes me mute. the thought of saying something and then enduring the match of words that ( Read more... )