I totally and completely understand, loffly. I am having such a hard time in Oregon right now, and while I like the area a lot, there are a bunch of little things that have been making me flail. The cities are all too far apart, the parking lots are small, there's only a five cent deposit for bottles when I'm used to 10. The reason why I moved out here in the first place is because I wasn't finding a job in Michigan, but it's been months and I still haven't gotten one HERE either. And I feel like a bitch for being like =/ about it because of all that everyone did to get me out here, and I'm sure that a lot of it is stemming from me still feeling guilty about not being there when everything happened with my dad, but it's keeping this from still feeling like home. And then I found out the other day that we couldn't afford for me to go home for Christmas and I kind of wanted to die with homesickness. I keep waiting for that moment when things will click and this'll feel like where I am supposed to be, but I am definitely not there yet.
That is it exactly. It just takes so very much getting used to and I think we'll both be okay eventually (maybe) but right now, it's like NNNGH I JUST WANT TO GO BACK and feeling like a complete ass about wanting to go back and such. It's like...you don't not want to be where you are, but you kind of don't want to be where you are because it's so different, and you know you'll eventually get used to the differeent, but part of you doesn't want to and
I SO felt like this about Missouri, when I first moved there. By the time I left, I loved it, but then, Missouri was much like where I grew up, even if it wasn't so much like my adopted home in Wilmington. I COULD NOT do Maine without considering it temporary, but as long as I reminded myself that it wasn't forever, it was fine.
I'm sure you'll adjust. You guys will figure things out. Marriage isn't about sacrifice; it's about give and take (at least, my marriage is, and most of the marriages of friends seem to be as well). You figure out how to make things work.
So you can't do Texas, which you'll know by the end of the grad school. Kyle should be done with school by then, right? So you guys maybe go to the East Coast, but not New England. There's a whole swath of country below Connecticut! It's just something you guys will have to work out, and you will. It takes time, and a lot of talking and planning and thinking, but it's doable.
We're trying to figure out where we'll go when we're both done with school...essentially, the answer we've both reached is "where the jobs are," which basically leaves us with the three coasts: West Coast (lots of jobs in LA and Seattle), Texas (Dallas, Houston, and Austin), and the East Coast (especially New York City, Boston, and Washington, D.C.). It's a bridge we're more thinking about than actually crossing, but it's good that we're able to dialogue about it instead of just stewing, I think.
The time thing is what's driving me nuts. I have a feeling that I'll get used to/like Texas in time, but part of me doesn't want to, which I think is why it's so hard.
Well, that just about sums up how I felt during the first two years of college.
Big New York City girl + small town Illinois = BIG culture shock. I didn't even realize how much of a City girl I was until I was stuck in an environment that was its complete antethesis. I only felt lonely for the first couple of months before I made friends, but it took me two years to adjust to living in the mid-west. And by adjust I mean, not feel homesick 24/7, and not walk around mentally cataloguing all the things about Illinois I hated.
It may have taken two years but I did eventually develop feelings of affection for Illinois. It was never my ideal geographical location, but it became acceptable. Give it enough time and Texas will become acceptable to you, too.
That's essentially where I am right now, with the feeling homesick 24/7 and walking around mentally cataloguing all the things I hate about Texas. It's difficult, because I'm trying really hard to accept, and even like, Texas, but the fact that it's going to take time is frustrating. I hate that I'm likely to burst into tears for no good reason, just because I'm feeling kind of homesick...poor Kyle doesn't know what to do with me.
Acceptable would be good. I worry about liking Texas.
i hate to say it, but it really is "just DFW". i would have killed myself if i had to live in denton. ive spent about a week there total, and i really fucking hated it.
you two should drive down to houston/kingwood and rock out with me for a weekend or something during winter break.
the climate and geography are night and day- its absolutely insane. like we live in the "piney woods" part of the state, and sometimes it reminds me of colorado... minus the mountains.
i cant express how much i hate dallas. i want to kill myself whenever i get marooned there.
I'm iffy on Dallas itself. I mean, there are some parts that are really nice (granted, most of them are around the Giant Nipple, a.k.a. The Gaylord Texan, and they're there because the Powers That Be manicured them), and there are some parts that are really not nice. Objectively, I can't decide if I like it or not. Subjectively, however...
We've been meaning to take field trips to other parts of the state. El Paso was pretty, but definitely not my cup of tea. Austin, I think, is next on our list, and Houston, too.
I know what you mean. I felt like this for a long time after moving to Malaysia. Not straight away, and not for a while.
If you have any spare time at all, I would recommend finding some sort of extra-curricular activity you enjoy, which you can do there, and focus on. For me it was finding comedy - and now that I feel part of that niche, I don't really want to leave.
I was thinking that, too, like if I had some people I could sing with, it would be easier, and things like that. I'm just completely strapped for time to find these things and completely at a loss as to where to find them.
Yeah, I knew you had a pretty busy schedule so I didn't know if you would have the time to find something else like that. I found the Internet helped me find the comedy scene here (though it was difficult, since there wasn't much info about it online). Hopefully Google can help you too :)
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Yeah, I think we are on the same page here. :\
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I'm sure you'll adjust. You guys will figure things out. Marriage isn't about sacrifice; it's about give and take (at least, my marriage is, and most of the marriages of friends seem to be as well). You figure out how to make things work.
So you can't do Texas, which you'll know by the end of the grad school. Kyle should be done with school by then, right? So you guys maybe go to the East Coast, but not New England. There's a whole swath of country below Connecticut! It's just something you guys will have to work out, and you will. It takes time, and a lot of talking and planning and thinking, but it's doable.
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The time thing is what's driving me nuts. I have a feeling that I'll get used to/like Texas in time, but part of me doesn't want to, which I think is why it's so hard.
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Big New York City girl + small town Illinois = BIG culture shock. I didn't even realize how much of a City girl I was until I was stuck in an environment that was its complete antethesis. I only felt lonely for the first couple of months before I made friends, but it took me two years to adjust to living in the mid-west. And by adjust I mean, not feel homesick 24/7, and not walk around mentally cataloguing all the things about Illinois I hated.
It may have taken two years but I did eventually develop feelings of affection for Illinois. It was never my ideal geographical location, but it became acceptable. Give it enough time and Texas will become acceptable to you, too.
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Acceptable would be good. I worry about liking Texas.
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i would have killed myself if i had to live in denton.
ive spent about a week there total, and i really fucking hated it.
you two should drive down to houston/kingwood and rock out with me for a weekend or something during winter break.
the climate and geography are night and day- its absolutely insane. like we live in the "piney woods" part of the state, and sometimes it reminds me of colorado... minus the mountains.
i cant express how much i hate dallas. i want to kill myself whenever i get marooned there.
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We've been meaning to take field trips to other parts of the state. El Paso was pretty, but definitely not my cup of tea. Austin, I think, is next on our list, and Houston, too.
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If you have any spare time at all, I would recommend finding some sort of extra-curricular activity you enjoy, which you can do there, and focus on. For me it was finding comedy - and now that I feel part of that niche, I don't really want to leave.
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