well.. maybe top surgery next decade

sigh.

too bad I dont / wont have shit going in the meantime.
Not that I'm in any place to be dating right now.. but It'd be nice to get (actual) attention...once a year.

"If you don't look down (don't look down ( Read more... )

am i loud and clear or am i breaking up ( Read more... )

dont worry.. I wont be drunk dialing you, you, you, or you anymore. I finally deleted your numbers. Took years.

damnit

"Ive got friends who will help me pull through"

Maybe Lithium would be better than the swing. I can't handle this any more. I never know when I'll swing but I'll have a scary manic half day and a night plus day of slam into the wall deperession where manic keeps popping up, then a low day and even again.

BULLSHIT!

its calming slowly. i think ive FINALLY hit my frustration point so i can let it go.. jeeze that took forever.

too bad she's about to kill me.

everyone gives up on me eventually

i just found an entry from march when i clicked on a tag I've used..

it was a nightmare about this summer.

shit.

i hate that.

Somethings got me anxious.. shaking, nervous. My stomachs turning, my throat's dry and sore. My mind is wandering aimlessly and struggling to focus evenly. it's frustrating, to say the least. My jaw hurts from clenching, my head aches from..anything, the acid in my stomach seems to be boiling. Its like every bit of me is jittering, queasy, restless ( Read more... )

rage against the world and maybe you'll find your niche eventually

sometimes... it takes a smoky haze to make me want to fight my way out. Others.. its the confusion that pushes me forward. Usually.. its flying by the seat of my pants that gets me to do the right and best thing.

Unconditional means even when im so frustrated, lost, and confused that I forget my own name...whatever it is this week.