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[lightiswhite]

I will never again have that moment. That moment when you wake and the world is new again and nothing has gone wrong and everything has promise and nothing at all has been taken from you. How do you tell someone about your greatest loss? How could I relate losing my father? How do you tell that like it’s a story? Where is its beginning? How

Comments

[heartpump]

oh sweetie. it's awful that we haven't talked in person about this, ever. sometimes i think nobody feels exactly the way i do about grief except for you.

erik played a beautiful song for me tonight and i lay my head in his lap while he stroked my head and instead of enjoying it and appreciating it for the precious and wonderful moment it was, it instead made me feel empty and wrecked inside because once you've experienced permanent never-turning-back loss everything in your life becomes a reminder of it, especially the best parts. the pain is unbearable and undeniable and consistent.

i hope it isn't always so for us. i love you <3

[go_askalice]

Beebee, although it is impossible for me to fully relate to both you and Dnyl, from a friend's perspective you two have a resonating strength about you that no one can break down. you two see the world from a different angle. it is this loss that has taught you how to love or at least acknowledge it's existence. perhaps there is a bond that needs to be shared with the other parent. the second part of your creation. admire their strength as i do yours. continue making the most of your lives. spread that emotional energy and understand that not everyone is capable of doing so. just know that the people who truly love you also respect all of the pain you have endured. it's incredible really: that extra layer of skin. let it shed.