The way things have unfolded make me sad and angry and frustrated. It's not often that as an adult you make a good friend and then to feel like mere acquaintances or strangers with that person again within the course of a year is disheartening ( Read more... )

I was walking around an outdoor mall. As the last stores were finally closing I begin to walk to wear my car is parked, only it isn't there. I'm looking around frantically remembering specifically that I had parked near the skate park since that was a land mark easy to remember. It wasn't there. As cars continue to leave, signs of my car are yet to ( Read more... )

I feel so alone and it bothers me because it feels normal. I felt for a moment what it felt like to share your day with someone. I felt the excitement of knowing that someone was there day in and day out. Everything was laid out on the table. I was myself. Transitioning from that back to being alone was a challenge initially but now it feels normal ( Read more... )

I'm a terrible person and I deserve all the unhappiness I feel.

If something is terrifying, could it still be right?

It's strange to me that with the new school year about to start, I'm up in the middle of the night looking up teaching positions in the area. Is this adulthood setting in? Am I giving in? Will I do a job because it pays the bills, makes me useful, and/or is as emotionally tormenting as it is ( Read more... )

I'm surprisingly over the TMAC situation and I can say that with a lot of confidence. I've had what I feel like is as close to closure as I'll get and I'm satisfied with that. It was fun while it lasted.

My ps3 family seems to be constantly changing. Clicks form quickly and dissolve just as fast. Luckily, there is usually little down time in between ( Read more... )

My mom mentioned again how I should ask Derrick to introduce me to a doctor at work. I hate being single sometimes. Later in the same conversation, she starts talking about contraception and her experience with them. Wtf?! TMI. Thankfully, it wasn't a long convo.

Honestly though. I feel like I've been losing the FYC battle. I'm tired of being the ( Read more... )

I feel transformed. For better? For worse? The jury is still out. I feel the freedom to act on impulses and emotions I would normally shy away from and in suit, I find myself tempted and tested more and more each day. I entertain thoughts and act in ways that I don't share with everyone. I have freedom but only when I lead separate lives. Is that ( Read more... )

Change is a sneaky little ****. It happens when you aren't looking and it happens when you are. The worst part of it all is that most of the time you have no control over it or feel like you don't. I've decided that there are certain things in life you CAN purposefully change. This is my year for change. Ladies and Gentlemen, Operation Fuck Yo ( Read more... )

I have to go to Lake Arrowhead tomorrow for work. I'll be spending the night there amd coming back thursday evening. I need to be there at 8:00am and it's an hour and a half away. I'll be carpooling with a couple of teachers but it almost feels awkward. I thought I was carpooling with the girl teacher only but I found out tonight that another one ( Read more... )