Last night I covered my first event, the Athena Award Dinner, for work. I found myself listening to the nominees' accomplishments and activities and thinking, "When do they find time to sleep or have a social life?" The cynic in me thinks that these women keep themselves so busy to stop themselves from thinking about how empty they feel or how ( Read more... )

"...Won't you forgive me. It's all I can do ( Read more... )

My day started well. My MP3 player was on shuffle as I worked in my office on campus early this morning, and the first song it played was one of my favorite sad-but-sweet Sufjan Stevens songs. So that put me in a pleasant mood, ready to work. And boy, did I work. I got so much accomplished before 8:00 a.m ( Read more... )

Lately, everything overwhelms me, and not in a bad way. I've been struck by the beauty of the people in my life and the world around me. The people closest to me are so strong. They deal with their own personal challenges daily, but they still treat people with kindness and compassion and sincerity. They bravely face their problems with laughter ( Read more... )

I need to stop listening to Jeff Buckley so much. It's not helping matters at all ( Read more... )

Yesterday, Mister J. and I made chili, built a pillow palace in my living room, and watched some old favorites on DVD. We ate junk food, and he made fun of my kitten breath. I impressed him with my jaw strength when he force-fed me a Snickers. Good fun. I don't think I've had so much fun without work or other life stresses popping into my head in ( Read more... )

I seem to have dropped off the face of the earth, no? But I swear I'm still here. I'm just isolating myself because I feel like I need to change so much, and the pattern of behavior I found myself stuck in was just making it impossible for me to reevaluate myself and my situation. But my footing is feeling steadier now, and I think I'm coming out ( Read more... )

I just got home from the Interpol show, which was amazing. The lights. The music. I kind of zoned out because I was having personal space issues (people were just stacked on top of each other), so I sat there quietly, listening and twirling my hair. I had one of those moments where my stomach kind of bubbles and drops because I feel happy. I was ( Read more... )

Every time I've walked away from the refrigerator today, leaving the door open, I've turned around to find Batgirl attempting to crawl into the damned thing. I can see her point. I've been tempted to crawl into the oven for about a week. Maybe the fridge would be better. I can keep my cold, cold heart from thawing totally and bruising from actually ( Read more... )

Last night I had every intention of going to Swing Night. I changed, put on some cute shoes, got into my car, and started driving. But by the time I reached 422, I was sobbing uncontrolably for reasons unbeknown to me. I turned around and went home, where I continued crying. Mr. J called to try to cheer me up, and he did, but not until I had cried ( Read more... )