Thank you for calling Baby Central. Neither Lisa nor James is currently available to accept your call, though if you'd like I will take a message and pass it along.

Thanks,

Auntie Bung
Baby Central Receptionist
Dorch Gang, LLC

Annabeth Irene West has successfully exited the confines of her mother's uterus, upside down, around 1:50AM. She weighs just under 6lbs, possesses all finger/toes/limbs/etc. in the correct configuration, and is doing all of the eating/sleeping/wailing things that infants do so well ( Read more... )

I have to go back to Greece. My dumb puppy ate the sandals I bought on Paros, and no amount of internet-delving is helping me find a suitable replacement pair. So, the question is, is a 5 euro pair of sandals worth a $1,200 plane ticket and a sea-sickness inducing 3 hour ferry ride?

I vote yes.

Every time I hear someone say "oh, snap!" I want to put his or her head through a meat grinder. Face. First.

The era of the seven identical black cotton tank tops and military surplus passport bag is over, and I need to go anti-school-clothes shopping - for soon I am to be the suit-clad real-job seeker. This makes me sad, for I dearly love my de facto uniform of the past several years. $9 passport bag, I will mourn thee. Though my husband won't - he ( Read more... )

I am finally off to bed after super-study-night, and I fear that I may sleep through my alarm and/or very important test. If any of you is awake around 10:30AM, I would appreciate it ever so much if any (or even all!) of you, would call and help me drag my lazy, pathetic ass to my math final. I'll owe you brownies and my entire academic career ( Read more... )

It's the final countdown!

At least a little. After all, how absurd is it to be in a gas-station parking lot at 4:00am, on the verge of tears, with a stray dog in the passenger seat, chatting with a friendly local woman about how I ought to stay the hell away from her man, lest I would prefer an ass-kicking ( Read more... )

Thank you for failing to restrain your dog as I walked (with my own two dogs) past your yard fifteen minutes ago. I really enjoyed the evening shot of adrenaline. Thank you, also, for looking at me as if I were a crazy person as I advanced menacingly on your cur, who had come flying from your driveway and launched himself into me and my leashed ( Read more... )

And/or lack of an awl ( Read more... )