Poor kitty! And poor you too. I think you have her best interests at heart. It's hard to say that we won't treat our pets, but we have to realize that they just don't take treatment like we do. You are right to consider which is worse - forcing the treatment on her, or just making her comfortable. I'm sending good vibes your way!
That is a really rough call. You are right to consider her quality of life first and foremost; I hope your vet is being sane about weighing the costs AND the cat's and your best interest. Poor Mary. I will say that I am grateful that near the end, there was really no other choice for Scully, no mystery treatments or procedures that were going to help, it made the decision easier. Mary's been a great cat for you and I am sure you will make the best decision for her and for yourself.
I've actually been very happy with the local vet we took her to - both of the vets there who I've spoken to were very frank and encouraging me to consider, not only the costs, but the quality of life. The main vet even waited on the phone with me for several minutes until I was actually able to form a sentance as we were discussing options. The have made an impossible decision a little bit easier.
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