i had surgery... on my right wrist. nerve damage is what they say...recovery will b slow. im having a hard time with it, the pain, uselessness and trying to not over do the drugs... feeling very alone but melissa and tyler will have dinner wtih me tonight. living with the parents is weird to be doing again... but im ok, may4th i hopefully ( Read more... )

this is a quick updatre i havent logged on here in a while. i am realizing it is harder as i get older to figure out who you are spose to fight to keep in your life and who nto to... i have some friends who i speak to once every few months and it works for us... others i had completely given up on. i am sorry but if i call or email you a few ( Read more... )

she said she loves me ( Read more... )

life gets busy is all i can say. finals week is upon me again. think only 3more semesters of classes... i bought my ticket to TX for the end of aug, i am sooo excited to get away adn go see susie. last time i planned a trip like this was to AZ to see kristy. i wish i didnt have the little money voice in my head that tells me not to blow money ( Read more... )

I just have to grrr... Why is it the ppl I know all think they can call me and POOF I will get them drugs... I mean honestly... I am not a druggie... I do not buy drugs... I can count on one hand the number of times I have purchased things... but yet my whole life (since HS at least) I have friends who ask me... grrr sorry this just urks me it has ( Read more... )

So recent talks with kristin have brought up how both of us have exs who come and go in our lives as they peez... so now I am left to wonder, and one person could have more info on this then really anyone else... but i dont know if they would say anything but ill risk it ( Read more... )

so i had a thought... i picture me showing up outside your work with a flower... i stop by to say hello... you ask why I am there and I give no answer... I look into your eyes and then I realize... I am not there to say hello, i give you the flower and I say goodbye... you are just like her.. you are another chrys... and i dont deserve that, i ( Read more... )

I seemed to have misplaced my balls... and I would like them back so I stop this. I have so much work to do and between doing things I am busy sulking and getting myself all worked up. I sit here trying to figure out why... and I wonder how it went from what we had to this now, where a whole weekend goes by and we say nothing... and I just want ( Read more... )

so i never know what to think... me and metta are talking... and we are talking about hooking up this week... the thing is in the last 8+years we have never followed through, even to to the point of being naked in a hot tub together and still not... drives me crazy cause I so would, because I trust him... and I so could use it, just break me ( Read more... )

So do I try to make a date?

Do I say I would like to see ya whenever you want to see me...

Do I mention how I am deathly afraid to say anything...

Kind of like how with some people I just rather not know why they never called back... It hurts but I think it would hurt more to know the truth...