That's beautiful. I like that you didn't make the ending very conclusive, but did leave it on such a hopeful note. The out-of-order presentation makes a lot of sense for Harry's shattered memories. It's very satisfyingly plotty despite mostly being a character story. And if I went on about all the little details I liked about this (Regulus, the cloud Quidditch, the stuffed troll, Harry and Ginny's shared self-control in the departure scene after the wedding) I'd be here all day.
It's wonderful when the first review is such a nice one! Thank you. The out of order presentation worried me a bit when I came to label everything and found out that I'd followed segment one with what came to be segment ten once I'd worked it all out. I'm glad the fragmented approach makes sense.
I'm also really pleased that you liked the cloud Quidditch, as that was one of my first ideas for the story, and Regulus who wasn't meant to be in at all but I liked the way he turned out so he stayed.
That was hauntingly beautiful. Your attention to all the little details really brought the story to life.
There was absolutely nothing I didn't like in this. Every word you used was perfect and appropriate. It is always a pleasure to read something so well-crafted, where the author put a lot of effort into it.
Some of my favourite parts: In part one, where Harry realises that he hadn't returned home; he had left it (thinking about Ginny and The Burrow). The invisible barrier between them when the trio are leaving and how Ginny realises that even if she stood next to Hermione, she would not fit in. The way you put the feeling of speed, action and chaos across in the battle scene in Hogwarts. The way there would always be a new name to remember in the garden.
I could really go on. As I said, this was pretty much perfect imo.
Thanks so much for a lovely review! I'm really glad you liked the little details, as those are the parts that I love writing but worry about most (in case they pull the reader out of the story). The story was really fun to write, and at times very easy, but it's the first time I've broken up the structure like this and I was concerned about it all fitting together properly. So that took a lot of effort and it's great to hear it paid off.
I'm particularly pleased you liked the pace of the battle scenes. That comes from the song - so much of it is slow but at times it picks up and I was listening to that part and found I was writing in the present tense.
This is wonderful. I love the scene where Harry remembers Fred and George, and the way that you placed it in the middle of the fic even though it's at the end of the story. Fantastic job.
Thank you. I'm glad you like the ending in the middle bit. It felt right to put it there when I wrote it, but I'm glad it comes over as 'right' there to the reader as well.
Wow. This is really wonderful. I love the way the fractured thread of the narrative puts us in Harry's position...
I've posted a rec of this over at Know It Alls:
There are lots of post-War fics in which Harry loses his memory-thetreacletart's The Tale of Henry and Jenny and Lady Tonks's Teatime in the Garden being two fine examples. Most of these fics are are tearjerkers; the not-so-good ones definitely get sentimental to the point of being unreadable.
In Chasing Clouds, veteran H/G author Antonia East covers some of this ground, but in a very fresh, startling way that focuses the reader on the basis, the core of Harry and Ginny's relationship-shared experiences, shared worldviews, shared senses of humor. Stylistically sophisticated, the narrative jumps back and forth between Harry, Ron and Hermione's departure from the Burrow after Bill and Fleur's wedding, the Horcrux hunt, a return that Christmas, a battle at Hogwarts and Harry's long, slow recovery afterwards. The bits of story are out of order, and the point of view shifts
( ... )
Thank you so much for that incredible review and for posting the rec. Your words have really made me happy this evening.
I've read 'The Tale of Henry and Jenny' and 'Teatime in the Garden' - they're such core H/G stories - and I loved them. But I read them a long time ago and only remembered them when I was halfway through this story, at which point I did rather worry that this was going to come off as a poor imitation. Thanks for allaying my fears!
You write in a way that is so lyrical and poetic that everything moves and flows and works perfectly together even when the story is purposefully jumbled.
Like all the rest of the commenters have said, I could go through and highlight all my favorite lines, but I'd be here all day.
I was so excited to see you pop up on my friends list again, I've missed reading your work!
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it and that it all made sense even when jumbled. (I was worried it wouldn't. I had to make notes to make sure I understood!)
I shall try to write more. I tend to have lots of projects and never end up finishing any of them, but hopefully there'll be more for you to read soon.
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I'm also really pleased that you liked the cloud Quidditch, as that was one of my first ideas for the story, and Regulus who wasn't meant to be in at all but I liked the way he turned out so he stayed.
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There was absolutely nothing I didn't like in this. Every word you used was perfect and appropriate. It is always a pleasure to read something so well-crafted, where the author put a lot of effort into it.
Some of my favourite parts:
In part one, where Harry realises that he hadn't returned home; he had left it (thinking about Ginny and The Burrow).
The invisible barrier between them when the trio are leaving and how Ginny realises that even if she stood next to Hermione, she would not fit in.
The way you put the feeling of speed, action and chaos across in the battle scene in Hogwarts.
The way there would always be a new name to remember in the garden.
I could really go on. As I said, this was pretty much perfect imo.
*applauds*
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I'm particularly pleased you liked the pace of the battle scenes. That comes from the song - so much of it is slow but at times it picks up and I was listening to that part and found I was writing in the present tense.
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I've posted a rec of this over at Know It Alls:
There are lots of post-War fics in which Harry loses his memory-thetreacletart's The Tale of Henry and Jenny and Lady Tonks's Teatime in the Garden being two fine examples. Most of these fics are are tearjerkers; the not-so-good ones definitely get sentimental to the point of being unreadable.
In Chasing Clouds, veteran H/G author Antonia East covers some of this ground, but in a very fresh, startling way that focuses the reader on the basis, the core of Harry and Ginny's relationship-shared experiences, shared worldviews, shared senses of humor. Stylistically sophisticated, the narrative jumps back and forth between Harry, Ron and Hermione's departure from the Burrow after Bill and Fleur's wedding, the Horcrux hunt, a return that Christmas, a battle at Hogwarts and Harry's long, slow recovery afterwards. The bits of story are out of order, and the point of view shifts ( ... )
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I've read 'The Tale of Henry and Jenny' and 'Teatime in the Garden' - they're such core H/G stories - and I loved them. But I read them a long time ago and only remembered them when I was halfway through this story, at which point I did rather worry that this was going to come off as a poor imitation. Thanks for allaying my fears!
Reply
You write in a way that is so lyrical and poetic that everything moves and flows and works perfectly together even when the story is purposefully jumbled.
Like all the rest of the commenters have said, I could go through and highlight all my favorite lines, but I'd be here all day.
I was so excited to see you pop up on my friends list again, I've missed reading your work!
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I shall try to write more. I tend to have lots of projects and never end up finishing any of them, but hopefully there'll be more for you to read soon.
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