I feel like I'm trapped inside an awful nightmare and I can't seem to wake up. I have tried anything and everything to feel something other than pain and suffering, but it just doesn't seem to work for me. Today, my father was sent home from the hospital. Not because he was well enough to go home, but because they simply don't know what else to do ( Read more... )

To know the Way,
We go the Way;
We do the Way
The way we do
The things we do.
It's all there in front of you,
But if you try too hard to see it,
You'll only become Confused.

I am me,
And you are you,
As you can see;
But when you do
The things that you can do,
You will find the Way,
And the Way will follow you.

just a year ago everything was different. but then tomorrow came and changed our lives. it wasnt even a subtle change, you know the one you can kind of get used to cuz they happen so slowly and surely...no this one was like getting hit in the head with a baseball bat by a pro player. and damn that hurts. and then a year passed, and i'm still ( Read more... )

tomorrow is going to be hell. my sister has a father-daughter dance. my father promised he'd go...minor glitch: he's been in the hospital twice just this week alone because he has pneumonia and fluids gathering around his lungs and he needed his system flushed. so, i offered to take her and now that i think about it, it sounds like a horrible idea ( Read more... )

up until 20 minutes ago, my mood was gloomy but good. now its just hit rock bottom and i cant breathe. theyre keeping my dad hospitalized overnight because...i dont know why. my mom wont tell me all the details. all i know is that he wasnt feeling good for a bit and instead of doing chemo today they flushed out his system. and now he has to stay ( Read more... )

got to see kevin. that was good. my mood has been pretty good for the last couple days. that makes me happy...i'm in a nice relationship and it keeps me stable (kinda). wow, i dont think ive felt this way in a while and i could get used to it. itll just take time, but i'm glad...

im in a horrible mood and im the only one to blame for it...i did something stupid again and those who know me know exactly what that could be. those who dontknow me too well, just let your imagination run wild. the stuff you think about cant be too far from the truth. actually, i did two stupid things tonight, but as usual you realize just a ( Read more... )

i like DJs at bars!!! or at least one specific DJ. hows everyone doing? jamie, if youre reading this, hope you have fun in Taiwan! be safe...i love you all and hope you have an awesome new year!

you know whats awesome? when people have double standards for themselves and others. i think its great! when the person you rely on the most decides to be hardheaded and not give a crap about your feelings. it makes me wonder. when she was gushing about how she liked him and wanted to date him, i was the one sitting there smiling and being happy ( Read more... )

well here i am again, stuck between a rock and a hard place. theres this guy that alice likes...problem is, he likes me...and i kinda like him back (i think). the thing is we both met him at the same time, so i dont know how that one works (cuz usually its whoever met him first blah blah blah). and i talked to her about it and she said she would be ( Read more... )