Comments | linnaeus: December 2, 2009

linnaeus

December 2, 2009

Dec 02, 2009 13:15

I WILL BE COMPLETELY DISHONEST FOR 24 HOURS... You can ask one question-- any question, no matter how crazy, sinister, lewd or wrong. I WILL answer no matter what and you will have my FULL dishonesty; So don't ask if you don't want to receive a complete load of implausible crap in reply ( Read more... )

lies, memes

Comments 31

duncandahusky December 2 2009, 21:10:44 UTC

Do you like pie?

linnaeus December 2 2009, 21:59:20 UTC

I don't really care for pie, but I am required to eat one every day as a tenet of my religion. We believe that when Christ said "This is my body, do this in remembrance of me," he was holding up a slice of French Silk.

sabotlours December 2 2009, 22:13:15 UTC

Does this dress make me look fat?

linnaeus December 2 2009, 22:29:02 UTC

You mean the pink one with the puffy sleeves, horizontal stripes, built-in padding around the ass and the word "FAT" stenciled across the front?

No, not at all.

viqsi December 2 2009, 23:56:17 UTC

Do you really think you're going to get away with this?

linnaeus December 3 2009, 01:55:01 UTC

Get away with this? Going to? Think? Do I? My poor dear, I already have.

While you and your friends were following one false trail after another like so many special needs basset hounds, I was assembling the final three Voronoff devices and installing them in a series of chambers some thirty miles beneath our feet. Oh, do spare me the belated attempts at heroics. At this point I suggest you simply sit back and enjoy the show as my genius ushers in a new world!

(The comment has been removed)

linnaeus December 3 2009, 01:56:00 UTC

I've given this a lot of thought over the years.

scribble_fox December 3 2009, 00:51:46 UTC

If, on the day that random and implausible things happen, you were to suddenly find yourself the owner of a secret tropical island base, a plethora of diabolical world-ending weaponry, a cadre of henchmen, and a smarmy secret-agent nemesis... what would you do?

linnaeus December 3 2009, 02:14:07 UTC

"If?" Yesss... Of course, "If"

Call me a creature of my generation, but while many would take the moment before their ultimate triumph to explain their master stroke to some boozy smartass of an oversexed government employee, I'd prefer to emulate a different sort of unappreciated genius and kidnap a princess and imprison her in my castle. Since we're a little short on princesses these days, I imagine the closest thing I could find would be Camilla Parker-Bowles. Presumably this would lead Prince Charles to fight his way through my armies of genetically engineered turtles and and uplifted mushrooms in a vain attempt to rescue her. He'll turn out to have moxie, and look surprisingly dashing in overalls, but there's no way he's getting past me on that bridge.