[Musical Composition; Measure 5]

[liquid_topaz]

BREAKING NEWS!Last week in the Cullen Family Times, our undercover reporter, one Mr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, revealed that one, Mr. Jasper Whitlock Hale, had deceived one, Mr. Emmett McCarty Cullen, about one plastic horse, Mr. Rodrigo "Thunderbolt" Lopez. Undercover reporter, Mr. Masen-Cullen, risked life, limb, and sanity to divulge the true

Comments

[popcornlasers]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Today is awesome. And you swore off mischief.

[liquid_topaz]

Tragedy, good sir!

What mischief, Matt? Simply good, honest hard-hitting reporting.

[popcornlasers]

An epic tragedy. You've outdone Dante, I think.

You're going to start a brother-vs-brother war here if you're not careful.

[liquid_topaz]

Dante himself would cry at such atrocities!

It is something Jasper is simply too well-versed in, Matt. You haven't the faintest clue of the danger I've put myself in by reporting such a crime.

[sparklingxx]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am suddenly glad we are not allowed on your land.

[liquid_topaz]

You don't believe you could withstand the hard-hitting facts? A shame. A bitter shame.

[sparklingxx]

. . .

I have no idea what you just said.

[liquid_topaz]

The truth will prevail, Miss Clearwater. It is its very nature to do so.

[nicotine_patch]

That's some brutal fucking violence, right there. You should put a warning. The fucking kids at home might be scarred for life.

[liquid_topaz]

They must be educated, Badou. It's for the good of the children that such fiends as Mr. Whitlock-Hale are exposed and locked up for good.

[nicotine_patch]

HE'S JUST MISUNDERSTOOD.

LEAVE JASPER ALOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!

[sparklingxx]

You shouldn't be making excuses for him. The writing is on the wall. He's clearly a dastardly criminal.

[hex_you_up]

[liquid_topaz]

Thank you, good lady. The highly professional and completely unbiased field of journalism thanks you for your support.

[hex_you_up]

Quite, quite. My deepest sympathies to Emmett.

[liquid_topaz]

Yes. It's quite a difficult time he's going through. He's lucky to have such an understanding and loving family supporting him through these times.

[sexy_and_skorty]

I think you might be retarded.

[liquid_topaz]

Don't understand good journalism when you see it, dear homunculus? I can see where it would be hard for one such as yourself to digest such difficult information and sophisticated writing.

[sexy_and_skorty]

You wrote about a broken toy.

[hex_you_up]

"Satire."