Some Thoughts on Elven Sanitation

[lissas_elves]

It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to wonder about it ... This subject is not for the squeamish!

Thank you to Cal for betaing.

‘On Elven Sanitation’ or ‘The Joys of Indoor Plumbing’
Introduction:

I’m sure The Last Homely House had running water, indoor WC and bathrooms - these clever Noldor did so like to invent things - but how do you

Comments

[spacellama]

Excellent summary! Am friending you, if that's okay? (this is Viv from GoI and OSA)

[lissas_elves]

Hi Viv!

I'm finally back from my vacation. Thanks for friending me - am friending you right back!

:-)

[lissas_elves]

Forgot to say thank you for the kind words, Viv. It was a fun discussion, wasn't it? lol

Elven sanitation, a little late

[anonymous]

I've wandered here from the Stories of Arda site, where I've enjoyed several of your stories. Hi! The Woodelves are very interesting to me, and they don't get into enough fanfiction. You have brought out very good points. I've thought that Woodelves' diet would be what they gather in the forest; ferns, cattails, acorns to make flour, wild fruit. Of course there would be fish, rabbits and squirrel, and deer, but I've imagined them eating more vegetation than meat. Since our "western" diet high in meat and fat and dairy causes our digestion (the smell) I would say Woodelves eating mostly greens would ...um..."evacuate" (how's that for a word) more often during a day but put out less(?). Not to gross anyone out, but I think between the stinking orcs and the stinking big spiders, I doubt anyone would notice a tiny pile of wet leaves behind a bush :D

Re: Elven sanitation, a little late

[lissas_elves]

Hi and welcome - whoever you are

[lissea]

And since unmarried elves are 100% chaste, they could even bathe together. Now isn’t that a lovely thought?

I know what Tolkien said about this, but I cannot buy it. No one could be 100% chaste for hundreds, if not thousands of years.

[lissas_elves]

lol - I let that line stay in the 'essay' after some internal debate; a bit tongue-in-cheek there, but you are actually the first to comment on it

[lissea]

Yeah, You're right my dear. No more far fetched than any other fantasy concept. I most certainly will not break off any friendships over a difference in opinion. You are right. They may have had different physiology. But I can't, I just can't write my poor Elf that way. (No one hold your breath waiting for my story)He's a rebel. He's not going to wait a thousand years. In my AU there is a lot of cultural exchange between races. Interesting to me that Tolkien allowed Language to evolve, but I do not see a corresponding cultural evolution, or Am I missing something? We all know humans have conventions and moreas they agree with intellectually and spiritually, yet rarely keep in spirit and truth. I see Elves as this way as well. They were flawed in much the same way as us. We humans do not hold the same moral standards as did our 16th century ancestors. Perhaps we should, but our thinking has changed. I would think it would be torcherously difficult for creatures with youthful vigor and health and lovely practically ageless bodies to

[lissas_elves]

>>I just can't write my poor Elf that way<<
Good! It would be incredibly boring if we all had the exact same viewpoint, wouldn't it? Your Amdiron certainly sounds like an interesting character, a handsome (judging by that pic), adventurous, red-blooded Elf! ;-)

>> I also think sexual tention is the motivating force for much of the beauty and art produced.<<
Oh yes, you've got an excellent point there. Love, desire, whatever we call it, has been the inspiration for many great works of art.

And Elves were certainly flawed in many ways; some of them committed atrocious acts and there's so many examples of even the wisest among them acting most unwisely. Methinks they didn't quite live up to Eru's expectations.

>>Each writer to his or her own. <<
But some people actually feel so passionately(!) about this topic that's not even possible to discuss it with them. I'm so glad you're not among them. :-)