Girls

[littera_abactor]

The recent spate of genderfuck stories triggered something of an epiphany for me.

I'm no good at being a girl.

I'm happy to be female, yes, and I can't even imagine wanting to be male, but the distance between "female" and "girl" is huge.

Actually, the difference between "female" and "girl" is me.

I can't dress myself. I finally learned what a

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

(Here from metaquotes.)

I can assure you, you're not alone. I actually have a fear of cosmetics. If my friends want me to socialise (which I'm terrible at), they have to threaten me with hairspray. That's, uh, probably not technically a 'cosmetic', but I'm so very unfamiliar with them that I'm not sure about the definition.

I also hate skirts, because I can't move in long ones, and I'm afraid of having my legs exposed, so short ones are also out. And I own precisely one pair of trousers.

In conclusion: I am utterly hopeless.

And, uh, what's a 'slip'? (This is rather embarrassing.)

[littera_abactor]

Well, since you said "trousers," I'm assuming you're either from Canada or the UK, so you may call it something else. A shift, maybe? It's a, like, skirt (or sometimes little sleeveless dress) that is slinky and sometimes lacy. You wear it under your real skirt or dress if you think it might be somewhat see-through. Or, according to estrella30, who explained all this to me, you also might wear one if you thought your skirt or dress was really clingy and wanted something extra between you and the world.

Except, of course, that I wear skirts all the time, and many of them probably are somewhat translucent, and I don't wear slips, on account of a) they're not comfortable and b) I would probably end up killing myself with it.

In conclusion: I am utterly hopeless.

Not so much. Notice how many other people also are not good with the girl stuff. Or if you are hopeless, you're in such good company that it's probably quite a good thing to be hopeless

[delurker]

Or, according to estrella30, who explained all this to me, you also might wear one if you thought your skirt or dress was really clingy and wanted something extra between you and the world.
Here I can add one of the few Sekrit Girl Tip Thingies I know: If your skirt isn't see through, instead of wearing a slip, you can eliminate cling by putting moisturizer on your legs. This is particularly useful for pantyhose.
*is all proud at mad sekrit knowledge*
I remember when I went into the city for work experience a number of years ago, and as I was standing on the corner waiting for the light to change a policewoman and an immigrant woman got into discussion about the use of moisturizer to stop clinging skirts. I love the way my city is so friendly.

[rionaleonhart]

There's a much more practical use for a slip, in addition to old-fashioned modesty. Most people aren't really aware of in this time of wash and wear clothes, but it's a layer between you and your clothes that protects your clothes-that way you don't have to wash them as often. It's a lot easier to wash the slip. Of course, these days it only really matters if you wear delicate or not very washable fabrics (read: wool

[nigeltde]

So THAT'S what a slip is! I wonder if I can muster up enough energy for some retroactive embarrassment.

[thefourthvine]

I did, briefly, but it wore off. I've done lots worse things in public than not wear a slip.

But what astonishes me is that there's this whole community of women who have no idea what a slip is for. (Which suggests that it's not all that necessary, or at least that if you do need one and you don't wear it, you won't be alone.) Surely this should've been explained somewhere. In a Victoria's Secret catalog, maybe, since there is no way to escape those (at least, not in the US), especially if you have two X chromosomes. Those things follow women everywhere; if we ever do make it to Mars in person, I bet there'll already be a bunch of out-of-date Victoria's Secret catalogs there.

And a Starbucks, of course.

[thefourthvine]

And, whoops. For the record, thefourthvine = littera_abactor, and sometimes I forget who I'm logged in as when replying to comments. (TFV is a recs journal and I'm a lot stricter about what I'll let myself post over there. LA is for my own FF, but also for random personal stuff like this post.)

[sienamystic]

I have some rudimentary knowledge about girl things, but generally can't be bothered. For example, I technically own a slip, but I haven't worn it in about ten years, and actually don't think I own anything that requires one, because I avoid those. And I own makeup, but wear it about once every two months or so, and generally end up having one of my friends actually apply it (they got girl lessons somehow - I know how one of them managed, but I have no idea how the other one learned all this stuff late in life. Maybe I should pump her for information.)

And, judging by peeks through other apartment's porch doors, it seems that people somehow manage to decorate their homes in some sort of coordinated manner. I think some of these people even have real cloth napkins. I don't understand this, because my decor consists of lots of bookshelves (for me), random pieces of musical and recording equipment (for the husband), and a fourth-hand sofa that has been extensively clawed by the cats. Oh, and my collection of Green Men and masks,

[thefourthvine]

OK, first: which fandom has sweaty cage sex? The only one I can think of is XMM. So is that it, or is there some, say, sweaty LotR cage sex I should know about?

Maybe I should pump her for information.

Yes! Specifically, the time and location of her remedial girl classes. We'll get to the bottom of this yet. And then we will share with the world, by gum.

I don't understand this, because my decor consists of lots of bookshelves (for me), random pieces of musical and recording equipment (for the husband), and a fourth-hand sofa that has been extensively clawed by the cats.

Books are decorative. Everyone knows this.

Right?

At any rate, while we were house shopping (and therefore saw every house in this area OMG, and don't let anyone tell you house-shopping isn't fun and informative; it's not like trying to buy dresses), I came to the conclusion that they were. The people we bought our house from didn't have any, and she was a teacher. Even their small children didn't have any

[sienamystic]

OK, first: which fandom has sweaty cage sex?

Mwahahah. *Guides you over to cupiscent's site and mumbles something about pimping a tiny fandom* It's Constantine (movieverse) and the main character, well...his bed is inside a cage. To keep things out. But the possibilities of keeping things in were noted very quickly.

Specifically, the time and location of her remedial girl classes. We'll get to the bottom of this yet.

Seriously, she went from a high school look that involved no makeup and clothing that even I, the fashion victim could see wasn't quite right, to being the most polished, perfectly-made-up person I know. And she didn't tell me *how she did it*. So very unfair.

And when you consider that my natural instinct, at any rate, is just to cover the available floorspace with huge teetery towers of them, really, I think we both deserve points.

I agree! By god, I never knew I was at the forefront of home decoration before. My eyes have been opened!

Plus, music-recording stuff. That's decorative! And pretty! And really costly,

[sienamystic]

Yarr, I bollocked up the link. Constant Fiction

Oh, and I do know you're you, and that the other you is you also. Yes.

[thefourthvine]

Oh my GOD, I am so with you on that. I finally went shopping when I realized I was having to do laundry every other day solely because I had only two shirts without holes in them.

And even then, I don't think I'd have gone shopping if I hadn't been able to do it online. Every time I go by a mall, I look at all the cars and think: do those people know they don't have to be there?

I want a service where you pick the pair of pants and shirt you like, and some colors, and then they just send you three new pair every six months and charge it to you.

Yes. Oh yes. Or, hey, I'd go for a service where I got to pick the colors and just got sent a complete coordinating wardrobe.

[littera_abactor]

Also, for the record, thefourthvine = littera_abactor. So that you know that that wasn't some random person weighing in on this.

And now I want to know where you get pants that can survive being washed twice a week for almost ten months. I'm jealous. I want pants like that!

[the_s_guy]

I want a service where you pick the pair of pants and shirt you like, and some colors, and then they just send you three new pair every six months and charge it to you.*Adds this to plan for global domination based on selling line of good-quality wimmin's clothes in all sizes that look good and don't cost an arm and a leg

[quiteserious]

Here from metaquotes.

Am not so terrible at girly things--I just don't bother with them because I regard many of them as TOOLS OF THE SEXIST PATRIARCHY OMG. I'm 17, and my nanny's been bugging me to shave under my arms for two years now, and I only just started doing it in secret because the hair was starting to bug me and I'm just that contrary.

I don't wear makeup and haven't a clue how to apply most of it, but I do have to do some rudimentary facial care in the morning if I don't want to look really freaky. I have eczema, so my face gets really dry and flaky if I don't scrub it with a hot washcloth (like, steaming hot, but I'm used to it so it actually feels kind of nice) and then spread a thin coating of prescription acne cream all over it. I don't use lipstick because it looks weird and dries my lips out--rather, I use a dermatologist-recommended tub-o-moisturizer as chapstick. It works amazingly well, leaves no funny makeup smells, keeps my complexion clear, and avoids all the chemicals omg in most makeup