My Life as a Dork: Sex and Hygiene

[littera_abactor]

I spend a lot of time covered in toothpaste and thinking about sex these days. Yes, these two events do occur at the same time. No, I don't have a fetish

Comments

[hjcallipygian]

I must concur with data_warrior and reiterate that I spend a lot of time covered in toothpaste and thinking about sex these days. is quite possibly the most wonderful opening line I have read in a long time. I am actually quite jealous of it.

[lyra_sena]

Attention, teenagers: if you're going to masturbate with a toothbrush, use the non-bristle end.

*chokes laughing* yeah, they totally need to add this into the sex-ed class in schools.

[giglet]

Oh, this is classic! This is wonderful!

Thank you!

I so very very much want to print this out and use it as a stand-up comedy routine! (Not that I do stand-up comedy.)

*spewing tea out my nose*

[double_duchess]

Then again, I time my Kegels with my knitting, so who am I to look askance at other people's crotch-maintenance regimes?

[resonant8]

You are a deeply disturbed person, and this is what we love about you.

For a while I was on a mailing list from some dental product with "oral" in the name, for some reason, and that they had to spell their name 0ral (with a zero) so they wouldn't get thrown out with the porn spam.

Also, when I was a teenager, I noticed that all the perfumes made by Love's were very phallic, though they didn't vibrate. But I figured probably a lot of girls were having their special moments with spray bottles of Love's Baby Soft.