The Mentalist Reverse Big Bang fanfiction- The Long Road Back Home Chapter 5 and 7 (of 7)
Title: The long road back home
Author: little_firestar
Artist: kathiann
Link to art: here
Word Count: ~ 16165
Rating: K+
Summary: In the aftermath of Red John’s death, Jane and Lisbon are faced with a future where they are not any longer in the shadow of a serial killer. But ten years are a long time, and not everything is how they had wanted it to be, and they’ll discover that staying together may be a mistake, but being lonely could be even worse.
Disclaimer: No, nor the characters or the show belong to me. And this time around, there is not even an original character to claim as mine…
Notes: Future-fic, post Red John’s end. Spoiler-free. Amazing Thanks to Kathiann for the incredible art and the very inspirinmg fanmix. Working with her on a Big Bang is always a pleasure.
Link to fic:
Chapter One -Three
Chapter Four -Five
[Chapter Six]
Chapter Six
The day finally came, and yet Lisbon couldn't believe she was really doing it. She wasn't ready. She wasn't even sure it was right. It wasn't like she had imagined her wedding day to be. Not at all. It was wrong, all of it. The church was too big, there were too many guests, her dress was too long, too pompous, too white. Her hair felt heavy, and the make-up was like a mask on her features, covering who she was instead of making her shine more. She wasn't even sure that the groom was the right person for her, but what was she supposed to do? She had already said yes to Pete, and now they were minutes away from their big moment. She couldn’t give up just now. Besides, it would be pointless. She doubted that Jane would appear from thin air to stop her and escape together into the sunrise. It was time to grow up and face reality, Pete was what was good for her. Maybe she wasn't crazy in love with him, but she was fond of the guy-and he was the one who loved her. He would never break her heart. Differently from a certain someone she didn't want to think about to begin with.
"Wait, don't use your own mascara. I have a waterproof one in my purse..." Grace quickly applied the mascara, extremely proud and a bit smug. Lisbon was barely resisting the tears as she saw her reflection in the mirror. It just, that wasn't her. The mascara was too heavy, and she didn't even feel like wearing any make up at all. "Done, boss. This way, when you'll start crying, you'll not get any stains. Nor you'll have to worry about leaving stains on Peter's shirt." Her co-worker giggled, but all Lisbon wanted to do was just getting it over with already. And maybe strangle the redhead.
Someone knocked at the door of the sacristy, and Lisbon jumped to her feet. She was almost running toward the door, sure, for some unknown reason, that it had to be Jane, arriving at the last minute to stop her from doing the biggest mistake of her life. Unfortunately for her, the head that cracked through the door belonged to Tommy, her little brother. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe God wanted to tell her something... that Pete was the one.
"Hey sis, we are ready when you are." he told her, smiling, and with tears in her eyes Lisbon smiled and answered with a shaky "ok". God. It was the maximum she could do. She hoped she would be all right once before the priest. She had to say at loud her vows, after all…
"Then... it's time for me to go." Grace smiled, and left the room, and as soon as she was out, she took hold of Rigsby's arm, and walked with him towards the altar in her bright shocking pink frilly dress. Grace had chosen it personally, she found it very cute and she believed that it looked a lot like the one she had given her boss when she had been supposed to be her maid of honor many years before, when she was ready to may Craig. Besides, it went well with Lisbon's dress too- yet another thing she had chosen, because the boss couldn’t decide.
"Aunt Reese, you sure everything is all right?" Annie asked on her way out. Lisbon just nodded, and gave a kiss to her niece before sending her on her way. Annie simply huffed, looking at her aunt one last time, shaking her head in disbelief. Reese wasn't fooling anyone, specially not her sixteen years old niece. Lisbon wasn't happy, that wasn't what she wanted, but what was her niece supposed to do? Nothing. It was all up to her aunt, after all.
"C'mon Ben, give me your hand. We don't want any four years old making any disaster on Teresa's big day." She told the baby, with a tone that made Lisbon cry. It was the same tone she had used many years before with her own brothers. It was really a shame that Annie was an only child. She was so strong, and yet sweet.
Lisbon waved goodbye to her "children", and then turned to Tommy one last time. She was pale and tired, and her brother knew her well. "Are you sure you want to do this, Reese?" he asked once more.
It wasn't the first time he was either asking he directly, or even just using his eyes and their shared looks to understand what was going on through his big sister's mind. He was worried about her. Ok, he could understand that she didn't want to be alone, but he had honestly thought that his sister had a thing for the blonde guy. Was it right marrying another man just to forget about this one? He didn’t think so. His wife had tried it once, marrying him to forget her first love, and the result had been a real disaster. But at least, Krista had been able to leave Annie outside the angst-y and unhappy divorce, and now everyone was on their own way.
Tommy knew his sister, though. She was such a strong catholic that she would stay married to a man despite the wrongness and the lack of happiness, and it wasn't right. Yet, there was nothing he could do about it. He had tried to talk with Teresa when she had first announced the wedding, but she had kept changing subject, so he had given up trying to talk her out of it. She was the eldest, she was an adult. If she thought that was what she wanted, so be it. All she needed to know was that he was going to be there for her, no matter the outcome.
The march started, and then, without even having her nodding her approval, they walked towards the aisle. Pete was looking at the priest, and yet, every now and then he would steal a glance at his back, smiling at his bride to be. Tommy knew that expression. Pete was definitely in love, and as nervous as he was, he wanted this marriage. It wasn't like he didn't like his soon to be brother in law. It was just that Peter was a bit too... controlling, and Teresa tended to just do as he suggested. But if she was happy....
The couple was finally at each other's side, right before the priest. Teresa was smiling too, but she was also a bit green. People could see it, but they either believed it was nerves or maybe she was already keeping a tiny little secret. But Tommy and Annie weren't idiot. They knew she was nervous. With the I-don't-want-to-get-married-but-now-I-have-to kind of nerves.
"Brothers and sisters, we are joined here together to join in the holy bound of marriage Teresa Maria Lisbon and Peter Heist. No one can break what God will make one, but if any of you know any reason why this couple shouldn't be joined in marriage, speak now, or forever hold your peace."
An holy silence filled the big church, and like they were waiting for something to happen, people kept looking around, but no one stood, no one spoke. The priest caught, to clear his voice and to fill the silence, and he was about to start asking for the coupe to make their promises, when the heavy wooden door closed with a thund, and everyone’s eyes were suddenly focused on the intruder.
Jane, red and sweaty, was trying to stop panting. Everybody was looking at him: Annie and Tommy seemed relieved, Cho was trying to hide how amused he was, the guests (and Grace) wanted to kill him on the spot despite being inside a church, Teresa wanted to be swallowed by the holy ground she stood on and Rigsby and Peter kept looking around trying to understand what was exactly going on. Poor men. So much in love he didn't even know what was happening...
"Sorry, don't mind me" Jane said as he sat in the last row, at the side of an old lady who was divided between raping him and killing him for having interrupted her nephew’s wedding. "I'm just late. Traffic is so terrible at this hour of the day, don't you think?" he asked and looked around, and then shout up as no one even tried to smile at his joke.
"Ok, well, then, in this case..." the father coughed again, and then the old man smiled tenderly at Peter, while Teresa kept stealing glances to the crowd. Pete was about to tell everyone that he did wanted to marry her, and she wasn't so sure any longer. If she had ben sure to begin with. Because she didn't know any longer. God, she couldn’t believe it. She was the kind of woman who went for second best. Jane had left and she had said yes to Peter. It was so, so wrong. And it was wrong that she was looking for a way out now, of all times. She couldn't do it. She didn't know if she could marry him, but she knew that she couldn't say no now. Not when everybody they knew was there. Good Lord, even the regional director of the FBI was there... hell, even people from the Senate! No. She had made her own bed and it was time to sleep in it.
And yet, she kept looking at Jane for some kind of...what, reassurance, support? What was she waiting for? For him to just stop the wedding and run away with her? Well, she doubted it. Not when he kept waiving at her all smiles and cheerfulness. Did he really have to be that happy that she was marrying someone else? Couldn't he at least fake a broken heart? The bastard.
"Do you, Peter Heist, take Teresa to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day and forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in heath, to love and to cherish, from this day and forward, until death do you part?"
"I do" the groom said, thrilled and smiling enthusiastic. And yet, Lisbon felt small tears gathering in her eyes. Normal, plain vows. Peter hadn't even taken in consideration the idea of writing their own promises. Nope. He wanted the classic and the tradition, he told her. She wondered if he also wanted the two kids, the white fence, a cat and dog, two cars parked in the garage and maybe a stay at home wife. Classic and tradition. She really couldn't believe that she was marrying a man like that. Jane would have never done such a thing. He would have found a way to make it special, unique.
Of course, there was the small particular that she wasn't marrying Jane...
"I, Peter William Heist...." William, she thought? She didn't know he had a middle name. Since when did he have a middle name? And since when it was William? "...take you, Teresa, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day and forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in heath, to love and to cherish, from this day and forward, until death do us part."
"And do you, Teresa, take Peter to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day and forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in heath, to love and to cherish, from this day and forward, until death do you part?"
She gulped down a mouthful of saliva, her eyes now filled with tears, the mascara staining her pale features despite Grace's promises that it was waterproof. Teresa couldn't answer. She was scared. She didn't know what to do. She knew everybody was looking at her, it was like they were burning a hole in her back, but she really couldn't say yes. She felt like she had to, but she didn't want to say those two small, fearful words. She turned one last time to look for Jane, and she saw him staring back at her. She could see he was confused, and yet... he wasn't really relieved, he just.... she felt like he was trying to tell her, without words, that he was all right with everything she was going to say and to do.
This was how well they knew each other nowadays.
"Teresa?" the priest asked once more, but she just shook her head. She turned to face Peter, and slowly she took off the engagement ring. She could hear people gasping in surprise and disbelief, but she couldn’t care any less. This was her life. This was her decision. "I'm sorry Pete, but I can't do this."
He looked at the expensive, pompous ring on his open palm, and Teresa did the same thing. This man didn't know her, she realized with a small smile. Yes, Jane had once took expensive and flashy jewels for her, but it was like a joke. It hadn’t been serious. The times he had taken her gifts, even maybe jewels, he had always taken things in her cords, small or big, it didn't matter. But they were just... her.
She turned to look at Jane once again, their eyes meeting. He could see she was crying, but they were tears he knew. She wasn't unhappy or broken-hearted. She was just... relieved. Happy. Safe and sound. He smiled at her in return, and he didn't care that people was looking at him, that they were whispering, that few of them were thinking about how making him pay for having ruined the wedding. He couldn't care. Not when all he had in his heart and mind was Teresa. She was the only thing that mattered, and if those idiots couldn't understand it, it was all their fault.
Teresa lifted her dress to be able to walk a bit faster, never breaking eye contact with her (former) consultant, and when they were finally eye to eye, her tiny palm went to his heart, while he cupped her face. "Will you take me away from this madness?" she asked with a smile on her lips, and he just nodded, smiling in return like a bright sunny day.
He took her hand in his on, and despite the long dress, despite the high heels, they run together outside, thinking just about themselves for once in their lives. They reached his Citroen, and a bit clumsy, never stopping to look at Lisbon, Jane opened her the passenger door, helping her in. He took his seat, and as few guests were already outside trying to understand what had happened and what the bride wanted to do, he speeded away.
His eyes went always to Teresa, his hand often searching for the comfort of her fingers, of her warm skin. All the time, she smiled, looking at the landscape changing every minute. And with every meter, her heart was lighter, and her love for him stronger.
And the hole in heart was no more. Because he had taken over her life, filling that empty, cold space she didn’t know that was there.
Chapter Seven
Even if they had left the wedding in a hurry, probably getting few speeding tickets on their way, after few miles they had decided to slow down. They had rode in peace and tranquility, enjoying the places they were passing by, staying in comfortable silence. They hadn't spoken, not even once, not even about the road, allowing the street and fate to guide them whenever it was.
And it was that way that, at sunset, they found themselves at a small, peaceful beach, somewhere on the south-west. They weren't sure exactly where they were, but it looked as good a place as any to spend the night and look at the future.
The beach was very small, just on the side of the road, one so small that was known probably just to locals, and when they left the car to stare at the sun dying in the sea, Jane left the radio turned on to create atmosphere- there was a song on, called "Lullabye".
"You better turn that off. I don't want to risk being stranded in the middle of nowhere with no mobile." Teresa said, crossing her arms and making herself as small as possible. It wasn't that hard, though. In that huge withe cloud, she seemed to disappear. He couldn't believe that Grace had talked her into buying such a thing, but maybe, after all, it wasn't really that strange. Teresa hadn't been so sure about her impeding wedding, of course she wouldn't be so sure about her dress too. Hence, the choice of one that her bridesmaid fancied. Because that... dress- because after all the thing was indeed a dress - screamed Van Pelt in every possible way.
"You are hurting this piece of art, Lisbon. Poor creature had finally started to believe that you had gotten around to love her, and yet you put a knife in her back...." he said, caressing the hood of his baby blue Citroen. When she rolled her eyes, he added, matter of fact: "Besides, woman, I do have my phone with me."
"Right. And remember me, where was the last cell tower we saw in the distance? What? Did you just say too far away to actually get a signal decent enough? Because that’s exactly how I would answer."
He shook his head, laughing, and he felt tears wetting his eyes. He couldn't believe that he had been ready to just give up on something so beautiful, so perfect, for a lonely existence. Maybe Teresa was right. Maybe he really needed decent psychiatric help, because he had been crazy enough to just even contemplate abandoning her.
"You want to sit on the beach?" he asked her, his eyes fixed on the calming and calm waves. He was glad to be there with her. He had always loved the sea, he admired the beauty and peace of the sunset in such small places, and to get to contemplate it with her, his love, was even better.
She blushed, but she didn't nod, nor denied him his request. She could see he wanted it, but she didn't dare to walk out in the open with her wedding dress still on. Somehow, it felt wrong, both towards Pete and Jane. It was like she was cheating on them with each other. She just couldn't do it.
And, as always, Jane knew it, as before she could even try to explain herself he was offering her a freshly ironed shirt of his, and a belt.
"It should be knee length. It can easily be mistaken as a summer dress." he said sweetly, helping her out with the back zipper without waiting for Teresa to say anything. He kissed the exposed skin of her shoulder, and then her neck, nuzzling the warm skin. "I am going to lit a bonfire while you are at this."
It took her over ten minutes to join him, and when she did, he was already done with the fire, indication that yet again there was something Patrick Jane knew how to do. He grinned, with that smile of his, that "Gotcha!" expression he so often used to have when he was dealing with Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon. She blushed in answer, glad that he wasn't talking about the whole thing, and yet embarrassed that he knew that she had been staring at him.
"I'm still not completely sure that it really looks like a dress, but thanks anyway." She said, as casually as possible. And yet, she kept blushing more and more. She couldn't help it, but her mind kept going in weird places, and imagining herself wearing just lingerie and Jane's shirt for completely different reasons. Very sexy reasons.
"No need to thank me, Lisbon. Getting to stare at your bare legs is payment enough for the loss of a shirt" he whistled, staring at the exposed skin like the greedy wolf from an old cartoon she used to watch with her brothers. Despite everything, the whole situation made her laugh.
She was so, so happy. They both were. When was the last time she had felt this way? When she was still a child, probably, or maybe... that time, when she and Jane had worked on different cases, and they had seen each other again after days away and he had told her that he had missed her.
"So, what do we do?" she asked once at his side, staring at the darkening waves. She sat embracing her knees.
He turned to look at her, lifting his eyebrows. He probably knew she meant in that moment and not in the long run, but Lisbon was positive he just wanted to tease her a bit. After all, she had been the one to ask him to help her escape her own wedding.
He grinned as he saw her pout, the most lovely thing for him, and he just shrugged. "I don't know about you, but I'm not in the mood for food. So I'd say we catch a nap and then first thing tomorrow we catch an early breakfast."
"And then?" she asked, looking at the sand, don't daring to ask Jane what he wanted. Just because he was there with her, it didn't mean anything. Maybe he still saw her as just a friend. Maybe he just wanted to help her out. Or maybe... Oh, she hoped he was on the same page as her, that they shared the same wishes.
"Then, we can do whatever we want." he answered, firmly. He was smiling, and his smile was simply beautiful. She couldn't get enough of it. And it was contagious. When he was happy, she was happy too.
He gave her a peck on the lips - he didn't want to rush things, and now he knew they were going to have all the time they wanted - and then he put an arm around her shoulders, his chin resting on her head. They stayed that way, with Lisbon's head resting on his chest. He kept staring at the ocean and nuzzling her neck and her hair, and instead of exiting her or making her heartbeat erratic, she got calmer and calmer, until her breathing suggested she was half-asleep.
"If I were to marry you, I would never ask you to wear such a dress. It doesn’t suit you. I would allow you to decide on your own, making sure that your bridesmaid didn't interfere, and if you told me that you'd like to wear a knee length, champagne colored dress, I would never ask you to wear a white monstrosity just because it's somehow fashionable and because tradition wants the bride to wear white."
"Uh, uh" she nodded, and he wondered if she was actually paying attention or if it was some kind of automatic reflex. He wouldn't be surprised if it was the case. She had never been so relaxed around him before, not even that time he had to hypnotize her.
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
"Uh... so cheesy, Patrick...." she murmured against his shirt, holding to him as for dear life. He smiled, because it was so rare to listen to her calling him by his given name. Normally, it was because she wanted to persuade him to not do something, or to comfort him. This was new, and amazing and the best feeling in the whole world. He had missed this feeling, he realized, his mind going to Angela and Charlotte once more, but with longing instead of despair, he had gone too long without it. It was time to remedy that.
As he held her in his arms, he also decided that he didn't need to seduce her with a song. That, from now on, was going to be a private joke between them, just to make her happy, to make her laugh and smile. She had never done enough of those things, and she deserved to be happier now. And it was his duty to make sure she did, as he had been the one making her life harder to bear, after all. It was only fair.
He lied them down, and cuddled her. He gave Lisbon a lingering kiss on her raven hair, whispering "Goodnight, my angel" and then he inhaled her scent, breathing her in. He waited for her to be deep asleep, and when he was sure that no retaliation was going to happen, his hands went to her stomach, and he hold her there like for dear life. He knew that they still have time to love each other, but they had to admit that neither of them was getting any younger: soon, children wouldn't be an option any longer, and he hoped that Teresa would allow him to father her offspring sooner rather than later.
He fell asleep like that, engulfed by Lisbon's persona and scent, and while he slept, he dreamt. Of a blonde teenager who looked like the daughter he lost as a child, who gave him goodnight and his blessing. And of dark-haired, green eyed babies running on that same beach.
The tears he shed were, for once, of happiness and relief.