Fic: Caffeine, Interrupted (Team, Tony, Gibbs, PG)

[little_ozzo]

Ahaha! Let's see if this will get my journal home page to stop simultaneously telling me it's been X number of days since I posted and also that I haven't yet posted an entry. Say what? Three days to go until the new series!

Title: Caffeine, Interrupted
Author: little_ozzo (Jules)
Word Count: 2660
Rating: PG
Category: Team, Episode Tag
Genre: Gen
Pairing:

Comments

[grey853]

Really nicely done. Loved the banter and you were right on with all the voices, which isn't easy to do.

Wish we'd gotten a scene like this in the episode, or at last a thank you from Gibbs to Tony.

Thanks.

[little_ozzo]

Thank you very much - I'm actually quite terrified of writing anyone except Tony and Gibbs, because I tend to concentrate on them the most on-screen (gee, I wonder why?) so that's good to hear. :-)

[tejas]

I *like*! Would have been nice to see that thank you on the screen.

Betaesque thingies, since you asked...

Only a few tweaks that I can see.

Gibbs would say "real coffee" not "proper coffee". Very few Americans would use "proper" in that context.

Abby's not a lab assistant and use of her job as an epithet doesn't really work there. Maybe something along the lines of "their bubbly friend" or something. A description of why they're charmed by her as an epithet instead of a job description.

Oh, and I thought Maddie's mother was dead. But maybe I missed that.

[little_ozzo]

Thank you!

And thank you also for the tweaks - I'll go change the "proper" now. I think I meant to put technician rather than assistant - that was an error that seriously, when you pointed it out I was like, was I drunk? Assistant? This is why I need a beta! ;-) I may work on that sentence a little bit.

Irritatingly, I have left my S5 DVDs downstairs with sleeping dogs, but I'll check the Maddie's mother thing tomorrow - I remember her saying her dad passed away, but can't remember her mentioning her mum - I'll get back to you on that.

Thank you so much, that was really helpful!

[tejas]

My pleasure! I love to beta, anyway, and it's especially nice when something only needs a few little things and is terrific anyway. :-)

[little_ozzo]

That's very nice of you to say, thank you! Now, to be rather cheeky, I am attempting a slightly longer piece, with a definite Gibbs/DiNozzo slant rather than the picking-at-the-edges stuff I've been playing with so far. You have an incredibly detailed grasp of the characters, would you mind looking it over when (if) I get it finished? I'm fairly laidback, love constructive criticism, and wouldn't dream of pestering you with a million different drafts, but do feel free to say no! :-)

[anatolealice]

Hee. McDecaf :-)

Great story, really nicely done.

[little_ozzo]

Like DiNozzo, I never tire of the McNicknames. ;-)

Thank you very much!

[fredsmith518]

like he might not beat a geriatric, de-clawed cat in a fight love that and the end exchanges from McGee puffed out his chest, and flicked his eyes over Gibbs’ body as if to calculate how much time he would have to bolt, should Gibbs decide to physically attack him. ... onward are priceless, lovely description of Mcgee's changing body language, lovely descriptions of body language, throughout thinking on it

very much like Requiem tags and this is an excellent addition

[little_ozzo]

Thank you very much, I'm glad the body language worked for you! :-)

[fredsmith518]

just re read this, I really like your take, putting Gibbs in hospital and apologetic too, the portrayal shows a much more equal vibe between Gibbs and Tony, I think.

[amanda_is_wacky]

Love love love!

That was a really nice fic to read. I actually really loved the relationship you show between Tony and McGee here. And it would have been nice to have seen something like this on the show - but alas, I'll just have to depend on writers such as yourself for these things!

[little_ozzo]

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked the Tony/McGee, that's one of my favourite relationships on the show!

I'm almost glad they didn't have a resolution at the end of Requiem now, apart from Gibbs' basement and the time capsule, because it means we get so many tags! ;-)

Thanks again!