sometimes life hurts, and i dont understand. i guees i shouldnt have to. i just have to have faith. it is so hard.

so im looking at going to china fall semester next year. let me just tell you that there is a lot between here and there though. i gotta get accepted into the program, and then get a 3.0. both of those things are do able but it is going to mean a lot of work. i have a lot of stuff that i have to do ( Read more... )

Dear God,
Surround me as I speak,
The bridges that I walk across are weak
Frustrations fill the void that I can't solely bare

Dear God,
Don't let me fall apart
You've held me close to you
I have turned away and searched for answers
I can't understand

They say that I can move the mountains
And send them falling to the sea
They say that I can walk on ( Read more... )

good lord help me if i acutally wanted to get some studying done. cant do that. i dont like going to my room cause i procrastinate, like i am doing right now, and i dont study. so i try to go to another room and people are so damn loud. i am so frustrated and discontent, and i really cant put my finger on why. well i guess that if i really wanted ( Read more... )

is it wrong to be mad? is it wrong to be upset? i dont know, but sometimes i am. sometimes it just eats at me and i have to make myself stop thinking about it. oh well. ill get over it, but only by the grace of god. sometimes i just want to go home. i just want things to change. am i a horrible person? i keep coming back to the answer being yes.

im sick of being used. im sick of being hurt. im sick of not having someone that i can go to to get a big hug anytime i want. i miss my friends back home. i miss my family. i just want someone to understand what exactly im going through. why the hell do i trust people? 2 people have broken my trust so much more than anyone could ever understand. ( Read more... )

wow, i havent updated in forever but thats ok because i have been so busy ( Read more... )

Sooooo i havent written in like forever. Its ok i have been so busy ( Read more... )

[x]smoked a cigar ( Read more... )