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[littlebluenote]

please answer if you know me.

on a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is eerily sane and 10 is totally bonkers, how much of a crazy do you think i probably am? just in general, i mean.

thanks!

Comments

[motionblurr]

On this scale, I would give you something like a 7.
However, I would argue that such a complex question needs to be rated on nothing less than a two-dimensional scale.
Perhaps something like (divergence from social norms, severity) would be better, where (10,10) would be a serial killer, (10,1) could be a silent radical or very controversial philosopher, (1,1) being someone with very little personality at all, I'd wager, and (1,10) being a horrible caricature of the perfect suburban zombie.
On this much more useful scale, I'd rate you around (7,3). You have some bizarrely counter-social ideas in your head which gives you the high social divergence, but you're generally rather reserved. Every now and then, though, you have your strange outbursts, which gets you up to a severity of 3. There. That's a lot more informative than your silly scale from 1 to 10.

[littlebluenote]

thanks mike. i think my severity has gone up since we used to hang out, though. people at school are always saying i'm "opinionated" and "intense" and "have a fuck you attitude".

i think the kind of insanity i was trying (and failing) to ask about was something other than simple divergence from social norms, though. i just feel a lack of connection to things and everything - everything! - seems totally arbitrary. like, there's no meaning. and i'm not really depressed about it, either. so i just can't understand anyone's motivations, because it all seems ridiculous. that said, i'm hardly apathetic these days. i dunno.

[motionblurr]

Sounds like a tiny case of nihilism.
You're right though, everything is totally arbitrary.
We, as a society, create all sorts of structures and systems that we think are oh-so-very-important and meaningful, but they're not really.
The trick to not being buried under nihilism is realising that, even though we live in a meaningless and arbitrary world, our lives are still our own to experience. To me, that makes it all worthwhile. Who cares that all our institutions and close-held societal beliefs are hooey? Find out what makes you happy and work towards making doing it all the time. That's the only motivation that matters.