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so
went out tonight and i was at a bar all night with noco and company. not a single thing to drink besides coke. not bad i think. -
oy vey
ok so it's almost six o'clock and i'm going banana's. i hate being in the house and i hate not having a job to go to all day long. i need to find something. i need a job like i need a million dollars. asap. omg i'm going nuts. i'm gonna test myself i'm gonna go to the last shot tonight and i'm not gonna drink anything but coke. thats my goal ( Read more... ) -
oh boy
yesterday was a long day. got up in the morning and went to the theater and gave mike mutascio my opinion on the handicap access with my mom then we dropped chewy off at kelly's for a play date. she loves him so much. anyways, we thne shot over to the lawyers. things there seemed to go pretty well but we'll see how they pan out. gotta come up with ( Read more... ) -
hhhmmm
Lots of things going on. lots of things i haven't been writing about. lest see we'll start from a while back. me and nikkii had an ugly bad break up it's done she doesn't wanna date me and i'm all set with her. although recently he have been very supportive of each other in our most recent relationships. after many months of being alone and trying ( Read more... ) -
just can't stop
i can't stop thinking about her. shes on my mind all day long. i spend the whole day waiting for an email or am im. it's crazy but i just can't stop myself. i've fallen back into the the whole i was in when she left. -
guard
i let my guard down. i took off my armor and tried to let some one back into my life. i tried to forget the horrible things that have been done over the years and be a better man. i tried sssooooo hard to stay away and not to spook. i tired to show how much i regret the things i've done. to acknowledge the fact that i was a bad person. i was mean ( Read more... ) -
just an update
so about a week ago i decided to treat myself to a little something something and got my self a new blackberry. I've never had one before but it's nice to ave a little toy like this instead of just a work phone like what i had had before. I love to use it all the time. Nikkii can't stand it but i think thats cause she doesn't have a new toy like it ( Read more... ) -
Another day tormented by my past
I spent yet another day tormented by my past. I do a great job at work and hump all day and try to impress everyone and it just blows up in my face. Then on top of it I come home and get all WMO and listen to music. Ugh I disgust myself.
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Another day without fighting
So yesterday me and nikkii went up to paramount harley and then we kinda cruised around over to performance in avon. we had an ok day and we didn't fight at all. I keep having thoughts about whats happened in the past and it haunts me sometimes. I wish i could stop reliving all the mistakes i've made and just go forward blindly but i just can't ( Read more... ) -
Broken down
I watched the movie the wrestler tonight. I see my life heading in a similar direction. Alone and broken. I don't know what to do.
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