another day living in pain and alone. I hate my life.

Evidently im just a fuck boy. thats what everyone tells people about me. thats what you heard right? you wanted to get laid so you hit me up and let me in. then we started having fun.... i took you on dates..... i treated you well. hhhhmmmmmm maybe that would have been the time to get out right? no no no, you continue to see me and sleep with me ( Read more... )

Everyday I fight this feeling that ive been making mistake after mistake. like im npot doing the right things with my life. Some days i feel like a winner cause i choose not to do things and its not a bad day. other days i feel like a complete failure and a loser. Like i have made the worst choices i could have made and ill never be important to ( Read more... )

I miss her everyday. I feel empty and i hate myself all day. She doesnt understand how much i love her and that this isnt how i wanted us to be together. She didnt have to love me out the gate.... just give me a chance. She just ran. And when i found someone who wanted to help me put myself back together she gets mad. Idk. I dont understand. I love ( Read more... )

Everyday I wake up alone and scared. I seem to always find a girl and think it's gonna work...... but it doesn't. either i smother her or i don't give her enough. I just don't now what to do anymore. I'm literally scared I'll die alone in a room with a nothing but booze surrounding me. Why am i not good enough? why is it always my fault? whats ( Read more... )

so it's been a super long time since life has been good. I stripped the wallpaper in my parents living room and then just the other day i primed it with my dad, almost ready for paint. good news i got a job. not what i wanted but it's a job. gonna work at the texas roadhouse in walpole next to the walpole mall. gonna cook and they are thinking of ( Read more... )

i am just so not having a good day. i might come off the wagon today i just am so fucked in the head.

So yeah i keep twitching and freaking out about kelly. i miss her but i refuse to let myself fall apart all again. she kinda has cut off all forms of communication with me. i think shes trying to make a run for steve as a last ditch effort. i hope she fails and starts trying to talk to me again. me on the other hand has started trying to make a ( Read more... )

i went online today and kelly took me off her facebook and blocked me and she did the same to my mother. i don't get it i wasn't hurassing her and i was leaving her alone. why does she torment me and hurt me so much?

ok so this week has not been what i thought it would be. still struggiling but i applied for a few jobs. hopefully i hear back soon on them i need a job real bad. still fighting ht e urge to drink. it's really hard right now cause i have so many things going wrong in my life and this is when i normaly drink the most and i'm trying to not drink at ( Read more... )