Uh-oh, targeted!

[live_caron]

I've got an irate young gentleman that wants to pound me into Caronbot-sauce!

I don't understand why, either. Typically when people want to pummel me I have a good idea why that is. For example, I'm inappropriately forward and abrasive in a lot of social situations. If someone makes an unfunny joke I hit him with a folding chair first and ask

Comments

[oboe_hobo1204]

Blah blah blah, Matt's gonna die...Whatever who cares.

I'm just happy you are listening to Coheed before the moment of your Destruction.

[live_caron]

Nothing says "assured destruction" like a 5'7" showoff

[eyeofra94]

You should invite him to coffee. I've been in enough fights recently to know I can take him. Or at least help. Whatev. See you soon!

[bottledfire]

Obviously, he's gay and totally in love with you.

He's jealous that you're sleeping in someone else's bed, and by beat your ass he definitely means plunder it.

Invest in lubrication and enjoy :)

[bottledfire]

The worst part: I'm not even moderately drunk right now.

[live_caron]

Maybe if I tell him I'm gay he won't hit me because then it's sorta like hitting a woman.

I bet he'd still hit me.

[setmeonfire]

Yeah if someone told me they were queer right before I was about to beat the snot out of them I would beat them even harder, just for trying to use their sexual orientation as an excuse not to fight.

I am a man of principles.