Dear Neighborhood Child,
You are lucky I'm a nice person. If I weren't, the bike you left In. My. Driveway. would be on eBay right now. Instead, it's right where you left it, waiting for you to come back.
Your Remarkably Generous Neighbor,
Me
P.S. If the pizza delivery guy runs over it with his car, it's your on damned fault, and I'm totally laughing
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