This letter is in great thanks for the Becker (Ralph) Scholarship and Bath (John K Jr) Scholarship that I received. Due to this addition to my financial aid, I am able to continue pursuing knowledge as part of the exceptional Doane community. The qualities of this community of prospective scholars prepare me to enter the professional world. Without ( Read more... )

Someone said something that made me smile today. She said I had a really interesting essay yesterday in writing class, and that she couldn't believe that it was about me and that she just couldn't picture it. I'm happy I wrote something that affected someone. :)

It is one of my goals.

I'm living on an edge,
teeter-tottering from side to side,
never knowing which side
what I do or say will
will pull me towards.

Sometimes I think I understand
that it's my mind's deepest
alleys and crevices that trick me
into uncertainty and anxiety,
but also that I'm a fool

because I haven't walked away
from the edge yet.

"Why can't I change?
What am I addicted to?

What will I lose that I'm chemically
attached to? What person, place, thing,
time or event, that I'm chemically
attached to, do I not want to lose,
because I may have to experience the
chemical withdrawal from it?

Hence, the human drama."
-Dr. Joseph Dispenza

It is odd how much paranoia can change your perception of what's going on around you. Living isn't such an easy thing most of the time. I can't help but lose my interest in things I used to care about, and to lose the joy I used to have from everyday simple aspects of life. Sometimes this thought crosses my mind: Life is just one big game that I ( Read more... )

I stood there in the cold, wearing my black skirt, hose, and heels, holding my flower and watching the lever lower you into the ground. The breeze carried dancing leaves as they landed on top of your coffin. You were so strong in life and character; it seems impossible that you no longer exist on this earth. I wish to have half the passion you ( Read more... )

Her mind took her hand and spun her 'round and 'round and 'round until she got caught on a hook. The hook lifted her up in the air, exposing the nothingness that made her up. All of her surroundings: the breeze, the sounds, the walls, and the people she thought were watching seemed to gawk and gaze at her apparent pitifulness. This insatiable ( Read more... )

It really hasn't hit me. They say my grandma won't be around for much longer, not even past Christmas. When I visited her on Sunday, she was so drugged up from pain medication that she was drifting in and out of reality. She thought that she was still on the farm or at her house in Lincoln, talking about how she wanted us to get the steaks from ( Read more... )

It really sucks to be scared.
I feel so alone.

How can I ever hold so much inside? So small with so much hiding,

I find so much comfort being alone, because I don`t have to hold any shields up.

I find myself asking why about everything.... why

I'm sick of it, of everything.

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