Wow, sometimes I just amaze myself. I continue to grow stonger every day. Larry on Saturday said he wasn't going to help Crystal find a car, better for her to get herself out of this predicament she got herself into. She and her mom can do something for once. Then Sunday Crystal calls daddy, tells him she doesn't like the car she's driving (its ( Read more... )

Wow, do I feel great! Seems like God is smiling upon me, the planets are aligned and all is well with the world. I haven't had any depression for almost a month now, and I'm attributing that to the Vit B supplements I'm taking. Everything seems so good right now: my job, where I live, people who love me (including my new friends I've made since ( Read more... )

I get so frustrated sometimes. Last night we were watching a movie and this man was so happy when he was told he was going to be a father. Men don't react like that! At least the ones I have known don't. Isaac's dad could only say "oh" and walked away from me. Its frustrating to see this happily ever after crap that is protrayed as well. ( Read more... )

I feel really proud of myself. Larry mentioned this am that he wanted to go rock hounding (by himself? Kay & Ed? Not sure...) next week overnight for a few days. I meant it when I told him, great go ahead, have fun. I'm looking forward to spending some time by myself now. Sure I'll miss him, be happy when he returns, but looking forward to ( Read more... )

I'm so proud of myself! Larry mentioned last night that his next to oldest daughter invited him up for xmas so he could be with his granddaughter on her first xmas. He's considering going. Before I would have been VERY upset, felt left out, angry, sad, just all emotions. When he said that to me, at first I was hurt (but only for a second), then ( Read more... )

Men! They can be sooo trying. After asking Larry 2x if he wanted to go on a Mexican cruise with me next fall and getting either a noncommittal response, or no show of excitement, I asked 2 friends of mine if they want to go. One immediately said sure! Vickie was so excited, we haven't had much time to talk about it, but when she told Bud, he ( Read more... )

Life seems better now. Wish it wasn't such a whirlwind at times, up and down emotionally. I am only responsible for how I react to others, not what they do to me (or don't do). Its frustrating at times. I know what I want (or at least I think I do sometimes), and I go after it. Larry says I'm a bull in a china shop then. Then he says to go ( Read more... )

Had a nice talk with Larry last night. I think I finally got everything out that I needed to: my frustration with our relationship, needs, wants, etc. I felt a lot better afterwards, but during it hurt to feel those feelings. Too raw, too emotional. Shows my vunerabilites and I don't like being vunerable. When something really hurts I pretend ( Read more... )

This is my first entry on live journal. Seems weird, but also seems easier than writing in my journal at home. Thanks to Dayna for exposing me to this site. There have been so many ups and downs in my life that I wonder if some of them have been self created. Or is it chance? Or is it that it takes me forever to learn my lesson? Who knows ( Read more... )