So....For those left that read this be fair warned this maybe allot for some of you to take in. It is how i'm feeling though. It's tough because I feel like there are certain people. Mainly my own blood family.I just can't talk about this to. I fear they just won't understand. Allot of my close friends know i'm depressed. But they don't know that ( Read more... )

.....I don't have anything good to say really...my life is a mess...and I don't know what to do...I have only planned one way out...and unfortunately it doesn't work for everybody left who loves and cares about me. There has never been darker times then these. No one knows how to help me because I don't know how to help my own mental state right ( Read more... )

So...It's been since last year and right before I got laid off too! I've been looking at life through this deep dirty grimy hole we call unemployment for the past six months now! And it hasn't been good at all! Every opportunity I get to not be this way has left me even more empty handed then when I started! Oh, but now my unemployment runs out in ( Read more... )

I've been so sad and stressed out lately. It's the winter it makes me miss not just Hans as my bottom entry shows but Steph and Frank too. As you can guess Keith and I are not doing well. Not really. After two years he still has allot to prove to me. He says he wants a life with me but he can't even not yell at me for taking one of his ninety nine ( Read more... )

So,This...really is written for someone. Someone after all this time...I am going to hope will still read this despite cutting all ties off with me at random in 2012...I just hope that wasn't really how you wanted it to end. I was just trying to be strong that day and pretend that it didn't hurt me so much. I actually cried over you like I never ( Read more... )

It's strange how the fates are...funny how someone thats supposed mean something and has for years can just drop you at the bat of an eye lash. Funny how I saved every little thing from that person for as long as I could. The memories are some of the best I had.I guess there was a part of me for a long time that felt like there was a chance that if ( Read more... )

I haven't written here in months. Ever seance the big blow out on here about two years back I haven't really put to many thoughts or things I have been threw on here. Before I felt like I could just say whatever I was feeling or going threw and just throw it into random cyber space and it was no big deal. After all this is the only thing that can ( Read more... )

As of today It's been one year sense mom died. I don't even feel like time has passed like that. I still feel like it wasn't to long ago...today I am just going to burn some Joss paper and relax...so,what to do next?

I'm sick as hell so Must be all the cough medicine I've been taking lately ( Read more... )

....you ever get the feeling that sometimes...things aren't as clear as you think they are....somethings up...it's either that or i'm just so damaged by this point that nothing can make sense anymore. I've been in this relationship for almost 9 months with no problems and nothing really going wrong but there is allot more expected here.