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I can't do this anymore. I don't have it in me. I can't stand myself. I've gained so much weight from binge eating and I just can't muddy up the will power to lose weight this time. For the first time in a long time I can honestly say I hate myself and I feel like a failure. I can't see any light in my future -
Zero Progress.
Since my last entry i have had zero progress. I'm thoroughly depressed, at my highest weight yet, and idk what to do about it. I have been off my thyroid meds for a very long time. I am determined to get that taken care of this coming week, maybe it will help with my hormones. I also will start taking my birth control, and phentermine if i can get ( Read more... ) -
Lost
I have got to find myself again. I have no idea where the past two years have gone but in them I have lost 50lbs and gained it right back. I am so tired of losing then gaining.. I wish I could just keep it off for good. I am at my highest point I have ever been, ever! What's sad is that I don't even care, and I'm not even ashamed. I have been so ( Read more... ) -
Leyendo
I'm reading "Wasted" again, not even 3 pages into it, i started crying. I've lost my control and i've lost my willpower, to think about where i was at when i read the book the first time and where i am now absolutely cuts me. I hate my life. -
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God i hate myself..
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GROWING MY HAIR OUT IS SUCH A PAIN!!!
It's SO effing hot
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Alright so last night i had a binge
3 frozen bean and cheese burritos
2pints of ice cream
Not the worst of my binges but still pretty bad...
Haven't eaten anything today, trying to decide if i should...i don't want to fast too often. Idk
Going to apply for foodstamps today...
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Yesterday was horrible, i ate a whole lot and lost count, didn't excersize. I took some laxatives last night as if that would help, it was only 4. So today i'm going to fast, or attempt to. -
Eminem Ft Rihanna "Love the Way You Lie"
Why is this song so relate-able to me.
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a ( Read more... ) -
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I dropped off an application for a rent house 20 minutes away from here in River Oaks, it's a beautiful old people neighborhood lol. I have like a 15% chance of getting approved since i'm applying by myself and my credit isn't so great but it's a start..i still have no idea what i'm doing. I know my firsthand goals are to move out and lose all this ( Read more... )