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Grr at myself
I suppose I realised long ago that I wouldn't get what I want. Fuck this lesbian shit!
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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"Wow that's big"
Who the hell am I to have kids? If I continue with this am I throwing away everything I've ever dreamed of? Can I bear to live without ever having children? I'm gay, so I can't bring up kids to lead lives where they don't feel different?! Marriage I can live without, but my own children? This certainly is big.
maybe I can't do this
maybe I can??
Fuck ( Read more... ) -
Needs the strength for this right now!
So we went to a pub quiz at the Greyhound on Saturday night. In our team, we had Mum, me, Letty, Andy and Stephen. However, Kerrie, Jo, Pad, Joe, and Laura were on another team and they were being rude and loud and swearing in front of my lil bro. They also continued to write swear words all over the answer sheet. Mum even had to tell Pad off and ( Read more... ) -
I want a dream free night
Another dream. Another ex. I'll just have to stop sleeping. The nights are worse than the days.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
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Dreams or nightmares?
I was thinking how weird my dream was and then had a sudden flashback of another dream from last night where I went to kiss her and she banged her head and then we kissed. I could remember how her lips feel when they touched mine. Remembering this made me cry this morning. It was so real, so beautiful but it wasn't real and it was oh so very sad :(
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(Untitled)
I'm not feeling too great lately. I'm feeling more and more hatred towards myself. I feel that nobody will ever love me. Who could love a freak like me?! They say everybody deserves happiness but maybe some people just don't get what they deserve.
I want to harm myself. I need a release but the scars are mostly what makes me feel this way. Adding ( Read more... ) -
Running...again
Written: May 30th 2011!
I decided to follow my running program yesterday which was 30min Blue zone then 1hr10min Green zone followed by 10min more of Blue zone. I ended up running 17.7km (11mile). I was shattered by the end and my legs were killing me, yet today I have decided to go running with Letty in the pouring rain! Am I mad? Yes! And she ( Read more... ) -
Running!
I've been running since about March 25th 2011 and my progress so far has been pretty good if I do say so myself.
In the beginning I was doing 2km or so maximum but now I can happily run 5km and at a good/reasonable pace. I'm also currently doing a running program that supposedly gets you at marathon level; I am due to run for 1hr50m today in Blue & ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I have many doubts about myself today