A blonde calls her boyfriend and says:

Please come over here and help me

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I cant figure

out how to get it started....

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be

when its finished ?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the

box its a rooster"

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help

with the puzzle.   ( Read more... )

YAY mommy and John are on their way. so so excited for turkey dinner!!!!:)

A Fairy Godmother told a married couple:

"For being such an exemplary married couple for 35 years, I will give you each a wish".
"I want to travel around the world with my dearest husband" said the  wife.

The Fairy moved her magic stick and abracadabra! Two tickets appeared in her hands. > > Now it was the husband's turn.
> > He thought for a ( Read more... )

so this week has been pretty interesting. monday i made dinner for Jameson and Kyle b/c they are so good to me and i wanted to give them a home cooked meal. then Tuesday was Xander's bday and we made him fajitas for dinner and I made him a cute pic of us from the halloween party we went to. then yesterday i went to a meeting for my major and found ( Read more... )

what is it with guys and the stupid double standard shit. its ok for them to do stuff but the second a girl does it she gets shit for it. all a girl wants is for a guy to pay attention to her and give her the love she wants and she will be putty in their arms. but guys just dont understand that. and the ones that do take it for granted and try to ( Read more... )

today is my 3 yr anniversary and stefan is too busy to talk. figures!!!:-/

it is such a good feeling knowing that i have absolutely nothing to do but relax. i am so proud of myself that i got everything done. i am just not sure what i should do with myself. so the roomies came home today and it sucked to hear brandice and gui got sick ( Read more... )

i am so tired of doing hw and studying for tests. that is all i have done this past week and today. b/c of my stupid procrastination i missed out on going to FSU to see Theresa. but i knew i needed to get these journals done and it is nice having the apt to myself w/no distractions from others. it is peaceful, but at least i have Jameson's kitten ( Read more... )

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and
plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you
sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever
is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it
every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible
( Read more... )

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences..... He    thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

5.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6.. Don't take ( Read more... )