We all know that we carry masks. Cover our true selves in a few different shields. There's the you that you think you project. That confident creature that has their world handled
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I admit to wearing a lot of masks, and which one I wear depends on which one I need. If I am feeling like I need courage and strength, I put on the Feminist Mask. If I'm in the mood to shock people, then I put on the Kinky Freak Mask. If I feel like I'm among friends, I wear the Geek Mask. And then, of course, I have an entirely different mask I wear when I'm at work, or spending time with my family.
These are all aspects of me, but none of them are my true Self, which is greater than the sum of it's parts (or masks). I don't think everyone has seen me wear every mask, and I don't want them to. That opens me up to the risk of rejection, and it would be excruciatingly painful to reveal my authentic self to someone (or what I believe to be my authentic self) and have them reject me. I know we're not supposed to care what other people think of us, but by and large we're still herd animals and still conditioned from birth to seek the approval of others. If anything, I think I'm one of the few who'll actually admit this out loud.
I will fully admit that I wear a mask. Not with my friends and "chosen" family though. My extended family and the people I work with don't seem to understand or accept the "real" me, so I put on a face of what they want to or need to see for them to be comfortable. A lot of people aren't comfortable with a rennie or carnie like person, an actor, singer or artist. They are uncomforable with what they cannot do or be because they don't understand it. In my renspace I posted an entry very much like this one... I'll go grab it and post it for you to read here. You can see my thoughts on it all...
Sorry if this is a little long. Post from last summer in another blogmistigger33March 10 2008, 15:04:40 UTC
I had a conversation the other day about the cloaks one wears, and since then, I've had this dancing around in the back of my head. So I figured the best way to resolve any thoughts and put them into order was to write... So here it is
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These are all aspects of me, but none of them are my true Self, which is greater than the sum of it's parts (or masks). I don't think everyone has seen me wear every mask, and I don't want them to. That opens me up to the risk of rejection, and it would be excruciatingly painful to reveal my authentic self to someone (or what I believe to be my authentic self) and have them reject me. I know we're not supposed to care what other people think of us, but by and large we're still herd animals and still conditioned from birth to seek the approval of others. If anything, I think I'm one of the few who'll actually admit this out loud.
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