I did everything right, and I'm still a failure. I don't get it.

Loki the Coyote: *draws circles on your tummy boredly ( Read more... )

It's been a while, I know. Things got busy for a while with the second summer course I took, then I found myself absorbed in Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. (A word to the wise: If you have any free time whatsoever, and you value it, stay away from this game. It will eat you alive. I didn't emerge from my room except for the necessities for two ( Read more... )

I feel like crap. I don't want to be the way I am. I want so many things that I know I can't change, and that knowledge just makes it all the more frustrating.

Why can't I be who I want to be?

I can't even think anymore.

Well, I got a lot of work done today on art but I never actually finished anything, so I feel like I haven't really done all that much. It's kind of frustrating, really ( Read more... )

Friday I woke up around 9 and got to Kevin's house to hitch a ride with him downtown. There I met Leah, an amazingly awesome person from NC. We packed up the stuff and picked up Jeff, then headed downtown. After a long walk and some confusion about which entrance to take, we found our table at the convention center and set up and got our badges and ( Read more... )

Today while I was downtown at AMA I called Rick to ask him if he wanted me to pick him out anything from the Dealer's Room, since he likes anime and he couldn't be there. Then, sort of randomly, during the conversation I told him I'd start dating him again, on probation. I sort of surprised myself because I still don't know if I'm ready or not, but ( Read more... )

Things have been weird lately. Rick and lack of school and lack of work and being at home with my mother all the time is making me feel restless and worn out at the same time. Yesterday evening after I got home and all day today I've been touchy and moody. I hate it, too. I don't generally get upset over such small things. I called Rick last night ( Read more... )

Last Thursday or so he called me and asked me if I would reconsider if he quit smoking. I told him that I couldn't answer that question, because I wasn't going to dangle our relationship in front of him like a carrot to receive for a job well done. I wanted to say no, but I didn't have the heart to ( Read more... )

So the smoke detector outside my room went off this morning at 5:30. Dad immediately jumped out of bed and ran through the house looking for the fire. I managed to stumble out of my room, Dodger in tow, and ask him what the heck that awful noise was before he went downstairs. I kind of half-heartedly checked the attic but in the end we never found ( Read more... )