How do you work out the "division of labor" in your relationships? Who does what around the house/for the family? Especially if one or both work full time?
our chores revolve a lot, usually coming out to be 50/50. simply put: the person staying at home more and working outside of the house less is the one doing almost all of the dishes, vacuuming, tidying up, cat boxes, etc. we do end up splitting cooking down the middle because we both really enjoy it, and it's something to engage noam in when we're alone with him. also, the person who leaves for work oftentimes takes advantage of the crockpot to help the person who will eventually be alone with the kids at night.
morty does a lot of stuff in the mornings--cooking, cleaning, watching kids--while i sleep in some days. i stay up late cooking, cleaning, etc.--while the kids sleep and i wait for morty to come home from later work days.
our kids are always with us, so no outside childcare.
After almost 12 years of marriage, things for us have evolved as our relationship/careers have. When one of us was dissertating, the other took on more. Now that we're both working, we've settled into a pretty good pattern
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As far as housekeeping goes, I handle pretty much everything except loading the dishwasher and taking out the trash. My sister comes over every two weeks or so to clean the bathrooms since we both hate doing that and it removed an area of strife. Michael also assists in moving the laundry through its cycles, and with folding and the like. And he's great about picking up the house (and getting the boys to do it with him
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Hey sis. Ours is not very even, but it varies in how uneven, and the end result is stuff sometimes just does not get done. And we don't even have kids yet, so one of my goals is to work on this before we reach a crisis point down the line
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I am struggling to figure out what is reasonable to expect Brian to do since he's working full time. I feel like he should be doing/should be able to do more. I'm looking for data! :) Right now he takes the trash out... and scoops the litter 1x/wk... and... sometimes he does the dishes or vacuums.
... I get the sense that he thinks he shouldn't have to do any of that, whether he's conscious of that or not... I don't want to be all bitchy and uncool but I also don't see why basically our entire home management falls on my shoulders, or how I'm supposed to sustain that and do grad school. Trying to figure out what it means to be "equal partners."
It's so hard to decide what "equal" is for something like this. Because I feel like Daniel gets more time at home because he has four day work weeks. So he always has a three day weekend. Doesn't that mean he should do more of the deep cleaning? Except really, he works more hours a week than I do
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morty does a lot of stuff in the mornings--cooking, cleaning, watching kids--while i sleep in some days. i stay up late cooking, cleaning, etc.--while the kids sleep and i wait for morty to come home from later work days.
our kids are always with us, so no outside childcare.
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