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sometimes as you stumble around suburbia in the dead of night, drunk and smoking your corncob pipe, you think, Where The Hell Am I. -
excerpted from Joey Comeau's Lockpick Pornography:
“True or false,” I say, “A man should never hit a woman.”
“True,” she says without hesitation. I pause a moment like I’m taking note of her answer. In reality, I’m sitting on the edge of Chris’ dining room table leaving smudge marks. He’s uptight about it. “Always use a coaster. Always use a coaster.”
“Wrong.” I say into the phone. “No. No. No. ( Read more... ) -
the philosophy major: college's most wonderful idiot.
i like philosophy, english, and art even though they are useless majors, and i like the people who study them. because they are studying something impractical just because they love it so much. i feel akin to those who genuinely, passionately love worthless knowledge - even if they come off as pretentious hipsters more than half the time ( Read more... ) -
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i don't want people to think i'm angry just because i love to swear. -
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i think someone on the internet actually thought i was a guy last night, when i was playing apples to apples.
probably because i told them to suck my dick. -
here's the thing about those "5hr energy" commercials:
isn’t the half-life of caffeine... roughly five hours?
can’t i just… drink some coffee? or take the caffeine tablets they carry in pharmacies? take a shot of espresso? rail a bump of ground coffee beans? mainline a syringe-full of a good black tea?
