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ive lost the will to fight. someone please call me and talk me through this time. -
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in keeping with the myspace update theme, "steve has never felt more cynical about life before then he does right now" cheating on someone who says that she loves you doesnt seem like the best way to start off the new year, call me crazy. -
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I feel like I have been living out of a bag for the longest time. i havent slept in my own bed for more than 3 nights in over six months. I cant be pinned down anymore. There is too much to see out there and the view from here isnt so great ( Read more... ) -
moving on, finally
in the past 4 months being gone, i have learned a lot about myself, other people and the world. i think i have grown up a little, maybe. i have met so many really good people. i have treated some people really badly and i have kept to myself mostly. I have spent so many nights laying there wanting to just disappear from this place and go comepletly ( Read more... ) -
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I dont miss home, i dont miss florida. i miss intelligence and naivety and pale skin, big eyes. someone who will put me in my place and do it because they care for me. songs that will put me to sleep and make me sad and not going to a party everynight. i miss worrying about scewing up and having her leave. why cant there be a balance with me. -
bankrupt on selling.
i said a lot of things that i didnt mean last night, to you, to her. i shouldent have done what i did. at the time i felt that way but i dont anymore. i just cant wait to be laying in those stiff sheets and waking up to the ocean looking off of her balcony and going to lay on the couch so i dont wake her up. this state has memories and sadness. ( Read more... ) -
feeling that feeling again.
Why cant i just let things go and believe everything she tells me this time, I dont understand. all of those text messages that say i miss you and i wish you were here right now still dont give me enough confidence to trust her. Will i ever be able to trust anyone again? I hope my lack of confidence doesnt show through this time and mess things up ( Read more... ) -
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i can make it through this i think, people like last night make me realize how good i have things in life. Even though it was only a few hours those were the best few hours of sleep i think i have had in a year. your hand on my chest made me feel safe. i havent felt that way in a long time. I hope i kept you safe too. -
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when i woke up this morning i turned over and she wasnt there. i guess it didnt mean anything after all was said and done. there was still a glass plate on the table, i finished that up and walked downstairs and it was raining. i have this strange feeling. my lips are numb.
who are you anymore? -
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Listen to me what I said ( Read more... )