Notice:

[longlost_friend]

I hate the entire motherfucking natural world.

Also catgirls.

After dealing with the catgirl molesting me, the only thing I remember clearly from last night is being assaulted by Goofy, complete with a dressed wound on my leg this morning.

Can someone please fill me in on what happened?

Comments

[noirdash]

Well, we were worried about the guy in the Goofy hat, so Jane took the hate. Then Doyle, because he was testing a theory or just testing Fate, decided to take the hat and wave it near you to see what would happen. I yelled at him to put it down and he dropped it. On you. Dude, it totally cut you, like it was a knive and you were warm butter. You bled, and that's when we tossed you for being a danger to yourself and others.

[longlost_friend]

I don't suppose you know how I got home and how the wound got dressed?

Actually I'm not sure I want to know.

[noirdash]

Shirley saw you home. I think she was going to fight off any animals with her shoes.

[noirdash]

Or knife, 'cause you know I know how to spell real good and this is the internet. They have standards here. Anyway.

Cut by a hat, man. You need to get this shit taken care of, because otherwise, at this point, it's die in one huge horrible accident or die the death of a thousand catgirls and Goofy hats. Never fucking go near a professional football or other sports game. Certain fast food restaurants are right out. State fairs. Anyway. Sounds a lot more potential for pain, than just possibly just crashing. There are things worth than death.

[bluesdistopia]

You forgot the part where he was sure if he went to the john, he'd be attacked by a raccoon raiding the garbage can.

[noirdash]

Um, 'cause it wasn't fucking germane to the story. That was more of a sidenote than anything.

[delightinfear]

Apparently you love me.

I was disturbed.

[longlost_friend]

I...what?

I...what the hell did they do to me?

I mean, no offense, you're my best friend and everything, but was it, like, "Soppy declaration with hearts and flowers and everything" or...

what?