hello san diego.
i am back.
but i dont know if i am home.

brooklyn.
i love this city so much. that sometimes i think i wouldn't mind living here for more than just four months. but i love home and i love san diego. i love the children here, but i love the people there.
i know what i love,
but i dont know what i want.
at all.

the east coast is good. and beautiful. and cold. i am out of the loop of what is going on in life. i am in my own strange world over here yet everything continues on at home without me. much will happen in these four months, and i am apprehensive of the change that will take place that i will not be a part of.it is happening already, and it scares

i have told him that i long to be beautiful ( Read more... )

feet on the floor,
i am running for the door,
cant take this anymore.
for i am in need of what you cannot bring,
in want of what you have yet to begin to perceive.

i waste my life on worthless days and worthless nights. and i spend my time with heavy eyes and discontented sighs. and i am watching myself become what i know i should not venture near, oh but it is so hard when there is no one else here. for i am strong, and have foundation, but some days even the best of resolves are not enough for old ( Read more... )

in the depths of our soul, God reveals himself, could we but realize it.
yet we will not look there for him.

i wonder why you think that the little things wouldnt hurt my feeling. and i wonder why you think its okay with me to be shut off from your life on certain days, and invited in on others. and i wonder why its been this way for so long, and if it will continue. and i wonder if i can handle it if it does ( Read more... )

i sit here on the ground ( Read more... )

im going to write a book.scratch that.i'm going to try to write a book.and this is the beginning of it.its crap.but sometimes these are just the things i need to get out ( Read more... )